I Am So Twisted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
I Am So Twisted!
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Sun, 05-09-2010 - 12:33am

Not that anyone necessarily SHOULD be in an affair, but I'm the last person who should be in one!

anotherseyes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2008
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 7:28am

OMG I don't know how you could have A's and not get caught, without being good at lying. I'm great at it - lots of practice - key for me is to believe the lie myself and then it's the 'truth' lol

-jana

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 10:40am
I'm very much like you, in that my lies are more of "omission". Usually I see my OM during the day when I'm out and about anyway. My job is part time and has varied hours so I have a lot of day hours free. I am also a terrible liar (meaning I don't do it well at all!) for the most part. But I don't usually have to lie. If my H asks how my day was I'll mention all the other things I did, and I seem to go out of my way to clean a room or something so it'll look like I was busy at home.



But don't fool yourself into thinking you're being somewhat honest LOL. Your H thinks the whole pool boy thing is a joke, so it isn't being honest, although there is a saying I heard many many years ago which I've often thought of:



Many a truth is said in jest.



You don't know how many times I've thought of that saying when someone is joking about something with me - and how often I've found out later that it was the truth they were "jesting" about!

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 12:03am

Wow Lexi!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 2:20am

Oh, don't worry; I don't think I'm being "somewhat honest"--this is just easier for me so I don't have to come up with and keep track of the lies.


My Mom already busted me out a couple of weeks ago.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 10:11am
Wow - moms! They often know us pretty well, and there's that whole "mother's intuition" thing LOL. Maybe it's good she knows, maybe it gives you someone to talk to. Does she disapprove? Years and years ago, during my first A, I shared with my older sister, who I felt always gave me unconditional love - more so than my mom. But she so strongly disapproved and had such weird and different ideas about the whole thing. So I learned my lesson and never shared anything like that with her or anyone else, ever again. Probably a good thing. Keeps me safer.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 10:17am
Yes, I've done variations of the "many a truth is said in jest" myself. Once, at work, the phone rang and my friend/co-worker picked it up, said our usual work greeting, and they hung up. She said - "it must have been your boyfriend." I said - "my boyfriend would NEVER call me here." I was joking but it certainly was true - he never would call me there! And she was joking, but I'll bet she wonders if there's a possibility that I actually have a boyfriend - and that's why she joked about it.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 10:31am

That's one of the other "burdens" of having an A....in addition to the lies and the deceit (whether by omission or not), its the not telling anyone else about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 8:14pm

She's not happy about it, and she told me she doesn't condone it.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2008
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 9:09pm

I often wonder if my Mom knows? She has to know, I have thrown enough hints for her and she always busts me in a lie. Its almost like its the big scarlet elephant in the room.lol

Though I don't know if I could come completely clean to my Mom. She never flat out asked so I never flat out told. But the other week I had called her about something and we were talking about H, and she said something like, I know if you had it your way H would not be around. And I said if I had it my way I would have a BF and he could visit me but not live with me and he would have money....Oh and that money would not be his wife's....She just laughs. Truth in jest.

But all in all I think with any Mom she would not like my actions..but I think she would understand them...Does that make sense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 10:46pm

I had to laugh at the turn this "mom" theory has taken.


Within 15 minutes of meeting AP and seeing us together (publicly) for the first time, my mother started with the comments.

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