I am such a fool...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
I am such a fool...
10
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 5:30pm
So, I thought today was THE day MM and I would connsummate our bond. We have known each other for quite some time and just recently have 'found' each other. We have been emailing to the ponit of cyber-sex I guess you'd say. Well, today we had lunch and spent 3 hrs talking. We put his arm around me and I had my had on this innner thigh. I guess I thought based upon our emails that sex would occur. Instead, we just flirted a lot and gave each other inuendos. When he walked me to my car, he held and sord of kissed me. I definately planted my kiss on him and held him as well. I then asked him to sit in my car with me (front passenger side) but he nicely declined. He said "not this time' or ' not today'- something along those lines. So, we left in separate cars.

I really thought today was the day- I am such a fool and feel sooo hurt. Frly do let doen and humiliated. Why do I let tjhis happem- Anyoez?????

What's up here ,,,,, anyone?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 5:45pm
I'm sorry you feel let down. :-( Why not just enjoy the time you have to talk and let the anticipation build? It'll happen. Maybe try backing off a little and see what his response is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 8:08pm
You didn't say exactly was this the first time you met in person or what? Well, I will just tell you my experience then.

I met MM online. We chatted on and off for a few weeks. Then met at a bar for a drink and talk at lunch. He aftewards walked me out to my car, we exchanged a kiss and hug, that was it.

Then the next week, we met again for lunch. Another drink, some more talking, then we end up in my van (in the back seat, it has tinted windows). So we had some more kissing, a little feeling each other and that was it for that day).

Then we talked later on that day, and we both agreed that there was a definite chemistry between us and we decided to meet next time at a hotel, and well as they say, its history from there.

Anyways, that was about 2-1/2 years ago. We've been seeing each other ever since.

Maybe your guy just needs time to figure out if its right for him? Maybe you could say something along the line to let him know, you are still interested in more even after meeting him. Guys can sometimes be insecure too. And talking about sex over the internet is alot different than in person.

You are not a fool or anything. And don't feel bad, he's probably just a little nervous or something.

Just give him a little time, I'm sure he'll come around!! And when he does, look out!!

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Fri, 03-12-2004 - 10:55pm
Dusty's right... give it a little time. You're probably feeling a little embarassed because you made a move and it kind of feels like he turned you down -- a real ego-buster. But maybe he's just not ready yet. If you feel the need to try and talk to him about it, maybe you could just say "I'm attracted to you, and I'm sorry if I pushed a little too hard." See what he says... Some guys just like to be in the drivers seat at first. Or he could have just not felt up to it that day.. or a million other things. But don't let it fester in your mind until it's bigger than it should be. Go back to talking on line where you both are more comfortable -- and talk it out. If this is supposed to happen it will take on a life of it's own. You won't be able to stop it. Just relax and enjoy those starting moments. Let us know how it goes!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2004
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 8:18am
O.k. , it looks like you are playing this situation perfectly. I know you are ready and willing but you just have to give it more time. I know it's easy to say this from a distance but don't be discouraged. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 2:00pm
MM and I have known each other for awhile through sports. His daughter and my son are on the same team. We talk and hang out at the arena together but of course that's natural due to being on the same team. However, our lunch was let's say our 'first date'. We will see each other all spring and maybe he just doesn't want any awkwardness; I don't know... I really thought we would pull the trigger and go through with it. However, when he won't even get in my car, I do feel rejected and hurt. I'm attractive, in good shape, great job, etc. (and ok, I guess vain as well?). I just don't get it. He puts his arm down around my ass and holds it there in there restaurant booth- seems pretty open PDA there. Didn't put up a fuss when my hand was on his thigh either... so why the rejection at the end. Is he testing himself? He did say at lunch that if he were to start down "that road" he would not be able to stop himself. So again, why the touching?

Also, one thing I need advice on, he mentioned that he needs to teach his son to always be 'careful' so that he does not get 'trapped'. Since my MM is 34, been married 10 yrs and has a 13 yr old ( with wife) does that mean he feels he was 'trapped'? He played football at the local U and told me had the choice of continuing football or raising his son. He chose his son of course and says he would never have it any other way, but really wishes he could have played ball as well. He and W got married three yrs later and had three more kids. Again, they are still together and seem happy. Otherwise, I believe he would have been willing to go through with it yesterday. If we were to get together again, would things progress further? Will we eventually end up between the sheets?

Any men care to comment? Is my MM selfish? Just using me to boost his ego? He sure does not come across that way. Rather a shy, quiet guy he is...

Help....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 2:54pm
I agree with the others..give it some time and enjoy the anticipation. Sometimes the chase is just as fun as the catch! I'd back off just a bit and see if he approaches you to take it to the next level. I think that it's ok, sounds like he's giving it some thought. A are not a normal, easy R to be in, as I'm sure you'll find if you read through some of these posts. MM and I flirted, talked on the phone, had drinks etc before we "comsumated" our A. Enjoy what you have!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 3:10pm
Playing what situation? You mean no real response, then do some gentle affection and then the grand event will eventually happen? I would so hope you're right!!! However, I think if he was willing, it would have happened on Friday. We had lots of time, ( I even secretly had a hotel room booked, which he did not know about and I canceled right away) I think he is all talk when I really think about it. He said he'd take me fishing this summer, etc. I rather doubt that. He does not ome across as a 'player'. He is rather shy and to himself. I will just sit back now and see what emails ( if any) come to me on Monday. I don't want to start playing the 'game' on this, but I feel embarrassed and hurt. I just don't think I can start the banter on Monday. The ball is in his court.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 3:18pm
Vl if you want to talk, email me your phone number...

Buckarooblues@aol.com

Or email me and I'll mail mine to you...

~laurie~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 5:16pm

You know the first time i met my MM face to face he was shaking more than me!

Hot

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Sat, 03-13-2004 - 7:26pm
He KNOWS quite well what I want to do to him... maybe that's the problem! I think he can talk the talk ( and quite well) but not walk the walk. How did you get MM over his case of nerves or apprehensiveness?