I asked him to make a decision
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| Sun, 10-26-2008 - 11:29am |
My AP (who is M) and I known each other for almost a year, been together since June. I am recently separated with my H, and my A is the usual one - with high and lows, with all crazy happiness and frustration that all of us here know. My H wants to reconcile, at this point I am undecided if our R is completely over, we still have a lot in common and not totally disconnected. Of course, with AP in a picture, I am stuck in this situation, not knowing which direction to move - either to reconcile with my H, or get divorce and start dating and find something that will work for me.
So last time I saw my AP I asked him what he is going to do about out situation. He said he loves me too much to let me go out of his life. I asked him, does he think he'll be leaving his home. He said he does not know, they've been together for 20 years and he has nothing bad to say about his W. I told him if he is sure he won't leave, I need to know this so I can make my own decisions. He said he is not sure. I told him I won't push for anything right now because holidays are coming and I don't want to make it hell for everybody involved, but he should start thinking about his plans for the future, and he promised me that.
I feel so low. He is spineless coward. He loves me, but he is afraid to come out and tell his W and look like and A#$hole to her and kids.
I will wait til the end of the year, after that if he won't make a decision, I will have to make one. In December will be 6 months of us being together...that is as much as I'm willing to put in relationship that goes nowhere. If I would be happy with our arrangements, that would be one thing. But I am not. I am lonely, depressed and frustrated most of the time.
I just hope I will have enough strength to go with it...Anyone else been in this situation?

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LATER.
Edited 6/16/2009 6:24 am ET by theeternal
Girl 7 years ago I would have read you the riot act for saying that we are still somewhat dependent on men, and take our cues from them, but now all I can do is laugh, and agree. My AP busted that hard outer shell off with the quickness, as well as knock down the inner walls. It never ceases to shock me when I look back to my old self, and compare it to the new me.
I hope that your able to hold your own when he comes back. I know what it is like to work w/ AP after the A is over. It's very difficult. Best of luck to you.
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