I can't beleive I did it

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2009
I can't beleive I did it
15
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 10:21pm

I have been married for 18 years. Never been with anyone besides my husband. Until today. I met someone and after a few kisses I was begging him to make love to me. We didn't actually do the physical act but we did do alot of kissing and petting.

The problem is I don't even feel guilty. I want to see him again.

What should I do?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Sat, 07-04-2009 - 7:46am

Not feeling guilty is a good thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2009
Sat, 07-04-2009 - 2:24pm

IF you are willing to risk your 18 year marriage, embarrassment and possible emotional attachment then by all means...go for it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2009
Sun, 07-05-2009 - 12:12am

I know this sort of sounds crazy but we decided that we would do everything except actually make love. I have only seen him twice but I am enjoying our sessions. I really thought I would feel guilty. It has had the opposite affect on me. Because we aren't actually making love my sex life at home has improved.

Is this just the beginning stages or will this last? Again I am new to this. But I want to keep seeing him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Sun, 07-05-2009 - 7:27am

Most affairs do run through recognizable stages.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Sun, 07-05-2009 - 6:21pm

An affair is an affair --- with or without intercourse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2009
Sun, 07-05-2009 - 6:27pm
I know that it is a slippery slope. I keep asking myself if I have already gone too far. I have only been with him twice. I do have plans to see him again. Being with him makes me feel sexy and alive. I love that feeling. It is something I haven't felt in a long time. I know I should stop now but I find it hard to do. How do you walk away from that feeling?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 4:36pm

UC


Your feelings are certainly understandable given you've been married 18 yrs and only been with your husband.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2009
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 4:49pm

Thank you so much for your words. I really appreciate having people to discuss this with. I am so conflicted. On the one hand I really want to be with this guy but on the other hand I don't want to mess up my marriage. No one could have told me that I would have ever been in this situation. I would have never thought that I would be the OW and be involved with a MM. I just don't know what to do. I have tried to follow the D-Day thread but have been unable to find it. Can someone point me in the right direction.

I am thinking that if I read enough my mind will overrule my body and I will make the right choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 4:56pm

Undercover,


Because you stated that you were conflicted, I'll throw in my two cents.


In a quiet moment, picture the look on your husband's face the moment he learns of what has happened.


If that look doesn't bother you, then I guess you have your answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Mon, 07-06-2009 - 5:10pm

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