I can't believe it.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
I can't believe it.......
5
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 4:23am

I need everyones 2 cents here. I posted a while

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 5:51am

It certainly is way too soon to ask any questions or expect a realistic answer about your relationship with him; he has just had his entire life turned upside down.


I can't give you any advice, I haven't been there and I'm sure others can better help, but as an outsider my instinct would be to let him know you're there as a friend but then back off and follow his lead.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2008
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 5:57am

OMG...

You must have been really shocked hon, just as I am reading it...I know that I was told straight from the start and I still am that he is not going to leave his M because of his kids and he said that he would be devastated and could not function without his kids and doesn't want to miss out one day of them growing up... We have not had a D day yet.

I would suggest that you support him as best as you can! if you dont mind can I ask his age as sometimes age can play a part in this also!

But also be kind to yourself, keep yourself healthy, fit and stable etc...

At the moment he is probably besides himself as to whats happened - what to do - the fact that his lost his kids - why has this happened to me etc...

He could probably do with a lot of positivity on your part and try to help him talk about it - but please bear in mind also, that sometimes once two married people have decided to part, they can

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2008
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 9:01am
Love your screen neam by the way. I think all you can do at this point is be a friend to him. Do not pressure him to clarify things with you. It will be better in the long run if he comes to you when he is ready. Let him be done with his M before moving on with you. I think that way you will have a better chance at making it. Listen to him and sometimes it may be hard. We are here if you need to vent to us!




iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 10:38am

I think along the lines of everyone else here. If you start asking/putting any pressure on him about you and your R with him, he will most likely be gone for good. He has so much to deal with right now and you need to let him deal with it. Although you weren't discovered I would imagine he has many mixed emotions about your R and how it may or may not have played a part in this whole thing.


Also, take your own time to think long and hard about what YOU really want. He may come to you soon and want to start back, if the W stays gone, some men can't go it alone for any length of time.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 5:07am

LT, thank you for your advice, I've thought a lot about what you said. The last thing I want to do is to pressure him about 'us'. I'm sure it's the last thing on