I can't do it!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2003
I can't do it!!!!!
2
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 3:56pm
I just can't seem to break it off with "online guy". (For those of you not up to speed, please see my previous posts). When I saw him online yesterday, I had EVERY intention of telling him that we could not make anything more of our relationshop than keeping it a friendship. However, I got all caught up in the coversation we were having (he had a HUGE fight with his wife on Christmas Day and was very upset about his whole marriage) and I didn't want to make his bad day even worse. Anyway, the conversation never turned sexual (it never has) but he started saying things like "I wish you were here" and "if only we lived closer to each other." I know I'm not some sort of "rebound" to him - we had our online relationship for far too long, and I know him better than that. I can honestly say, he seems like one of the most honest down-to-earth people around. He makes no apologies for leading the cowboy life (and I can't blame him - it IS his life) and he does so much good through his every day job (he's an executive and is involved in 2 charities). Anyway, yesterday's conversation was wonderful, and he makes me feel SO great. I'm scared with excitement if that makes any sense. I still want to make things work with my husband, and we had another LONG talk last night. As usual, it went nowhere. He apologized profusely, says "This is the way I am - I can't help it" sheds some tears, and then it's over. He is SUCH a good-hearted man, but BORING and we have absolutely no excitement in our lives. I don't just mean in bed - I mean AT ALL. I suggested getting a book, and offered to pick one up for him, and he said it was a good idea, but he didn't know when he'd have time to read it (he works 70+ hours a week). I just KNOW I'm getting myself in deeper than I should, but I have to tell you.... I'm LOVING the attention. It's not my nature to be selfish or the center of attention, but the caring and almost romantic attention I'm getting from "online guy" has me in the best mood I've been in for months. He is honest with me about his wife, their relationship, etc. and I've been honest with him about mine. While I know what I'm doing is wrong, I must say, I'm enjoying it! I would NEVER have the nerve to meet him in person, and I have refused to give him my phone number or address, but I think I'm in love with *the idea of being in love* He and his wife are having IDENTICAL problems in their marriage. She works long hours (as my husband does), she never wants sex (as my husband does) and they have grown apart but are still friends (as my husband and I have).

Am I wrong to keep this going as long as I keep it at a distance? Please help. I'm falling for this guy more & more by the day, but I know nothing will ever become of it. Is it ok to dream??????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 4:24pm
Sure Chicago, dream on... This is coming from the queen of dreams. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 6:48pm
Hi Chic

Dream if you like, but I would suggest that you never forget that in online A you ownly really know what the other person wants you to know about them there spouse there motives and personality (there criminal record), I have done some reading on the subject and it seems that a lot of ladies get a real shock when they meet the guy in person.

You are VERY SMART not to give out personal info on line with a phone # it is easy to get and address.

Injoy the fantasy if you want but do not loose sight of the real world for your own protection.

By the book/s sex toys and let you H know if he wont play with you there others who would, wake the fool up.

FREE