I can't lurk anymore
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I can't lurk anymore
| Thu, 04-22-2004 - 3:09pm |
Hi everyone. I have been lurking here for a few weeks, and I finally feel comfortable enough to post. You are a GREAT group of people, and I am so happy I fell across this board. It's just what I need right now. I am 29 years old, about to celebrate 6 years of marriage, and we have a 2 year old son. Our life is boring together. Same old thing every day.. I do love him, but I'm bored.
Where do I begin. I used to work with my best friend, and I am also best friends with his wife, since childhood. We commuted together everyday, went to lunch, etc, and I have always felt attracted to him, but brushed it off telling myself it's just because we spend so much time together, and it's not really how I feel. well fast forward about 4 years... I moved to another job, and he is still where we used to work.
Then I got a part time job, working with him again.... late nights... and wouldn't you know it, the feelings were still there. Come to find out, he feels the same way.
After work one night we went out for a few drinks with the other people we work with, and we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Of course we were as discreet as we thought we could be, since everyone knew our situations, but suspected things between us anyways.
On the way home, he had his hands all over me, and I had mine all over him, we ended up pulling over not far from his house, and shared the best kiss I have had in I can't tell you how long. It's happened again since then and he stops by in the morning before work every once in a while,(H works very early mornings) and we chat via e-mail all day every day. This past week, he stopped by in the morning, and things just keep going further nad further... I am so excited about it all, but scared at the same time. He's all I can think about. I am totally falling for him. I knew I always had feelings deep down, and the other day he told me, without me saying anything, he told me he has always had a thing for me. I think about him all the time, and even thought about all of this when I was in bed with H this past weekend.
Am I wrong for not feeling guilty about what we are doing? The guilt of not feeling guilty should I say...
He makes me so happy, and we are on the same page on everything.. I hate when we're apart.
I am just so glad to be able to talk about this with someone. It's so hard to keep this all in all the time. So many nights I have gone home and just cried because I just wanted to talk to someone.
Thanks for listening. I'm excited to get to know all of you a little better, and share more with you.
WFE
Where do I begin. I used to work with my best friend, and I am also best friends with his wife, since childhood. We commuted together everyday, went to lunch, etc, and I have always felt attracted to him, but brushed it off telling myself it's just because we spend so much time together, and it's not really how I feel. well fast forward about 4 years... I moved to another job, and he is still where we used to work.
Then I got a part time job, working with him again.... late nights... and wouldn't you know it, the feelings were still there. Come to find out, he feels the same way.
After work one night we went out for a few drinks with the other people we work with, and we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Of course we were as discreet as we thought we could be, since everyone knew our situations, but suspected things between us anyways.
On the way home, he had his hands all over me, and I had mine all over him, we ended up pulling over not far from his house, and shared the best kiss I have had in I can't tell you how long. It's happened again since then and he stops by in the morning before work every once in a while,(H works very early mornings) and we chat via e-mail all day every day. This past week, he stopped by in the morning, and things just keep going further nad further... I am so excited about it all, but scared at the same time. He's all I can think about. I am totally falling for him. I knew I always had feelings deep down, and the other day he told me, without me saying anything, he told me he has always had a thing for me. I think about him all the time, and even thought about all of this when I was in bed with H this past weekend.
Am I wrong for not feeling guilty about what we are doing? The guilt of not feeling guilty should I say...
He makes me so happy, and we are on the same page on everything.. I hate when we're apart.
I am just so glad to be able to talk about this with someone. It's so hard to keep this all in all the time. So many nights I have gone home and just cried because I just wanted to talk to someone.
Thanks for listening. I'm excited to get to know all of you a little better, and share more with you.
WFE

your situation is not strange at all. since you've been lurking/reading this board, you know that we all have our stories so just know that everyone here is, or was, involved in some type of A.
should you feel guilty for your feelings and actions? probably, but before you go off the deep end and plunge headlong into a full physical A, think about why you're attracted to this man. is it just because you are bored with your M? every R needs constant attention and work or it stagnates.
also know that having an A is hard, time-consuming, an emotionally rollercoaster. don't get me wrong, there are plenty of good times too. but if you really and truly only want to entertain yourself by playing out fantasies with MM, you'd be better off devoting that time and attention to your H and your M.
however, if you decide to take that next step and have a physical R, be careful. don't be anything but circumspect in front of others. the confirmation of the rumors can find its way to his W's and/or your H's ears. be discreet and show some respect for your H/M by not being so overt in public. be safe and practice safe sex, no matter what you think or how you feel about MM. you have to protect yourself and your H.
above all, try to put the brakes on being so emotionally involved that you upset yourself when the two of you are apart. this is an A, not real life. As are by definition, on-the-side, extra. not your primary R. try to keep it in perspective or you'll drive yourself (and MM!) crazy. enjoy it for what it is, right this minute.
relax. this is supposed to be fun!
life