I cheated - why don't I feel Bad?
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| Mon, 03-22-2004 - 1:34pm |
My story goes like this - right before I moved in with him, I had a wonderful bonding with a very long time friend (over 10 years old) and we have kept in touch since then. My bf hasn't met him as of yet and refuses to do so. Besides that we have been going through Child Custody for his two children from an ex. My thing is that our relationship is totally on hold and I can't seem to get through to him how I feel.
I have tried everything from having a nice dinner to talk about where are relationship is to a full blown arguement to everything inbetween - but nothing seems to work. I have expressed my feelings of being an outcast at home, my longing to be romanced, the feeling of being appreciated but things don't change.
I gave up my apartment, friends, and my second job to become a part-time mom for his two children and then all of sudden - I don't recongize my life anymore. I don't have personal space, I don't see my friends like I used too - now all I have is a daily routine that seems lifeless to me and I feel like I am losing myself.
I can't say that I am proud of cheating but Z gives me the feeling of being wanted and romanced. He is always interested in knowing how I feel and what drives me in life - things that I should be sharing with my future husband.
Can anybody offer advise or suggestions? Please help

I will think very long and hard about what you said and hope that in the end I will be able happy and in love .
Thank you
Although I my BF has two 8 and 10, most of the time, since they are living with us until we go to court, I have a handle on them. The problem is that the father (bf) is not father material. He provides very well for all of us. He tries to be a good father but lacks in the discpline area in that he tries to make up for the mother's lack of involvement with the children. And I have told myself not to get bend out of shape that they are not my kids but if they are going to live with us then I expect to run a sound household.
For the life of me, I can't imagine always coming home to the same routine. You are right, I have to see this in the long run. If I marry this man, his children will always be there - I was very aware of this from the beginning (learned that the first time around). Why do things always change? Why is that men expect women to be OK with the fact that after we are with them - they don't feel the need to romance us, make us feel special or worst of all think that intimacy is no longer important.
Do all relationship in the end became an old pair of shoes that we wear until one day we decide that we want a new pair to make us feel pretty, self-assure or even sexy?