you are in a no win situation,dolly!! Could be possible that your AP is aware of it and just gets the thrill in seeing you in being a state of torment?? there could be many possibilities but only he knows what he is doing and why is he behaving this way. It is very clear that he is taking you for a ride... tighten your seat belts( sorry !!)
Only advice i have for you is to stop analyzing his words/actions ,for your sanity.Dont sit and think about him rather invest in your M.The push/pull just intensifies/deepens the feelings.
I would add that revenge is not the answer. (Someone mentioned getting him fired, etc.) Maybe I'm naive, but I guess I always give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't see a man pulling back from an affair as necessarily a "game player" or someone who enjoys seeing your torment. I would consider the possibility that he truly realized the enormity of the possible consequences of what he was doing, and that's what caused the pull back. Yes I could be wrong and he might be a sociopathic player who enjoys tormenting people, but I would rather err on the side of the possible goodness in people.
Whether he is sincere OR a game player, I would not take him up on the "friend" thing. Just end it. Walk away, and do NO contact, except when it's necessary for work. And when it is necessary, I would keep it short and business like.
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
hey lexione, i mentioned ' get him fired' but not as revenge ! but a way of getting rid of him.OP wants to get rid of him and is finding it hard.If you read her earlier posts, OP is quite naive and this guy doesnt sound so. Sorry for sounding revenge,lol!
To Funky, I didn't interpret your suggestion to fire him as revenge.
It really would be the best solution. But my H likes his work and unless I tell him what has happenned he would not just get up and fire him.
As I also said If I told my H then my part in the EA would also be exposed and my marriage would be over for sure. I slightly mentioned to my H that OM made a comment about my looks and he right away got flustered. Why didn't I tell him this before? etc etc. So I know he would not take what has happenned lightly.
I am very naive and inexperienced. My H is the only one I have been with and I lived a very sheltered life. This OM picked up on these things and worked on me.
He did a good job, but I am not blameless. he filled that void in me of lonliness.
What on earth am I to tell my husband that would not cause the massive destruction of my marriage.
And yes, I realize that my marriage is already in pieces otherwise I would not have let this happen. However, my husband and kids think everything is perfect.
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you are in a no win situation,dolly!! Could be possible that your AP is aware of it and just gets the thrill in seeing you in being a state of torment?? there could be many possibilities but only he knows what he is doing and why is he behaving this way. It is very clear that he is taking you for a ride... tighten your seat belts( sorry !!)
Only advice i have for you is to stop analyzing his words/actions ,for your sanity.Dont sit and think about him rather invest in your M.The push/pull just intensifies/deepens the feelings.
I would add that revenge is not the answer. (Someone mentioned getting him fired, etc.) Maybe I'm naive, but I guess I always give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't see a man pulling back from an affair as necessarily a "game player" or someone who enjoys seeing your torment. I would consider the possibility that he truly realized the enormity of the possible consequences of what he was doing, and that's what caused the pull back. Yes I could be wrong and he might be a sociopathic player who enjoys tormenting people, but I would rather err on the side of the possible goodness in people.
Whether he is sincere OR a game player, I would not take him up on the "friend" thing. Just end it. Walk away, and do NO contact, except when it's necessary for work. And when it is necessary, I would keep it short and business like.
Some would say that I fell from grace... but I didn't.
You've got a lot of choices. I
i mentioned ' get him fired' but not as revenge ! but a way of getting rid of him.OP wants to get rid of him and is finding it hard.If you read her earlier posts, OP is quite naive and this guy doesnt sound so.
Sorry for sounding revenge,lol!
Thanks everyone for your responses.
To Funky, I didn't interpret your suggestion to fire him as revenge.
It really would be the best solution. But my H likes his work and unless I tell him what has happenned he would not just get up and fire him.
As I also said If I told my H then my part in the EA would also be exposed and my marriage would be over for sure. I slightly mentioned to my H that OM made a comment about my looks and he right away got flustered. Why didn't I tell him this before? etc etc. So I know he would not take what has happenned lightly.
I am very naive and inexperienced. My H is the only one I have been with and I lived a very sheltered life. This OM picked up on these things and worked on me.
He did a good job, but I am not blameless. he filled that void in me of lonliness.
I think I remember your story and this OM is the one who said he would still have sex with you - right?
Hi,
Thankyou soooooooo much for not condemning me because I do feel awful that I let him break me down to the point of telling him I love you.
And yes I am that same person. He has a pregnant GF and yet he is still laying it on thick with me a married woman.
I can't thank you enough for telling me to hold my head up, I've really been feeling like a slut.
Thanks
Hi,
What on earth am I to tell my husband that would not cause the massive destruction of my marriage.
And yes, I realize that my marriage is already in pieces otherwise I would not have let this happen. However, my husband and kids think everything is perfect.
If I were you, I'd not say anything to my husband.
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