I deserve the biggest IDIOT award

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
I deserve the biggest IDIOT award
2
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 12:06pm
I am a complete idiot. Let me explain.....many of you already know my story so I won't go into it again but I do need your opinions. Yesterday in a moment of weakness I contacted the married moron I was involved with. I felt that this was necessary for my closure. Anyways, I left him a message and to my surprise he called back. Well to make a long story short: I felt guilty. According to him, he has until after the after the Christmas holidays before he has to move out BUT when I spoke with his wife a few weeks ago (when all this came out in the open), she said 'we're too strong for this, nothing will break us up', so my question is who do I belive? (FYI: he's been caught once before in an affair) I've already given him $1000.00 but now he claims he's broke. I would like to believe him but I also don't want to be taken advantage of...so in your experiences, what should I do? And, also, do you think that he and his wife can work things out. After all she has given him until after the holidays and all this came out in the open on October 05, 2003. Also, in our conversation yesterday he claims that he was forced to make the call in which he said 'for the last 6 months, it has made him sick to look and touch me'...what game is he playing? I guess I want to be positive for him because I don't want to see him separated from his 2 kids. Please offer your words of advice as they would be most appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2003
Sat, 10-25-2003 - 7:06pm
Hi Xterra,

Hang in there and don't beat yourself up over this. You can't go back in time and change things. All you can do is move forward.

Based on your post, I can see that if MM has been in an affair before, and the W knew about that one as well, how his phone call to you when he said all those ugly things could have been prompted by the W. I can also see how the W would tell you that the M is too strong, since they've gone through this before. The W probably truly believes that this A too shall pass and they can go on with their M. And I would wonder about how things are between the two of them if she continues to fight for the M after finding out her H has strayed multiple times.

You need to do what is best for you in this situation, and that may mean letting MM work on his M, or that may mean waiting to see if he moves out after the Holidays. Either way, keep your emotional guard in place because I'm sure things will be a bit chaotic for awhile, and remember we are here for you.

Hugs,

Annika

Brightest Blessings, Annika


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2003
Sun, 10-26-2003 - 2:58pm
I read your post.well your not the only one who deserves the BIGGEST IDIOT award,for I deserve it to.I might even deserve something worse.I posted a post on need advice dearly,and I'm sure people think this person is a lost cause.Good luck and take care of your situation the best way you can.