I did it
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I did it
| Tue, 12-01-2009 - 12:16am |
I broke up with AP. It was hard and I cried. Now I just feel numb, yet still hoping there could be a possible future for us. WTH ever....
Edited 12/1/2009 12:18 am ET by caribu79
Edited 12/1/2009 12:18 am ET by caribu79

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Sorry you are hurting now Caribu. Hang in there and take care of yourself.
MAM
Hi caribu. I hope you know you did the right thing for yourself even though you probably will feel crummy for a while.
I know EXACTLY what you are saying. This is where I am atm. My XAP is still calling, emailling & texting even though he was the one wanting to work on his M. I gave him the space and although i respond politely and warmly to his messages, i give nothing back that strokes his ego. He wanted this and so this is what he is getting. I need more and until he works out that what he has is disfunctional and not the way he wants to spend the rest of his life, then i will no longer be a party to building him up so he can go home happy. It only makes him able to tolerate the sad state of his M and gives him no incentive to make a change. I was willing to be there when W didnt live with him, but now he goes home to her, then she has to fit his bill or too bad. I miss him so so much but know that i am teaching him the way i need to be treated- which isnt second to anybody. I will not be placed in a box like a toy and have him call when its convinient. Its all or nothing now and thats the attitude i will have in any future R.
Keep strong and realize that even though you love him, you need to be in the right frame of mind to function in your daily life. If that means no AP and no H, then so be it. You are the most important person right now and if either man truely loves you, they will wait for you. Make the right decisions for YOU and live YOUR life the way you can feel integrity, pride and a sense of peace. No one can give you that but you.
I hope you work things through and we are all here to offer words of encouragement when you need it.
Chin up and big hugs.
SB
Hi Caribu,
You are being so incredibly strong and I am so proud of you.
SB and Alive. thanks for your encouragement. I love hearing from you guys. I'm still having a hard time. I want us to be together but there is no way this can happen right now, not in the way we've been doing it.
He told me how much he misses me and thinks of all the good times we've had and how he cant get me off his mind. It's nice to hear those words but I need action and thats not what i'm getting.
Anyways, We had a situation. As i stated, we have agreed to stay friends. But I may need to back off some b/c sometimes my jealousy and insecurity still creep in when we're in contact. We were talking the other day and I started questioning him about something and then accusing him of being dishonest about
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