I did it, and you're all to blame! (m)

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Registered: 03-26-2003
I did it, and you're all to blame! (m)
8
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 6:26pm
Ok, so I did it.

I called him at home and invited him to lunch. He paused and said... uh... sure... I guess.

Not exactly *jumping* at the chance!

THEN he said we could plan tentatively for Sunday, but if something came up he'd call me... nothing like being a priority...

I'm glad I did it, thanks to your nudging, because it IS silly to let his cousin play "mediator" since we're all grown ups. But I don't know if he was so weird because he was embarrassed, nervous, or just not all that thrilled. And of course, I am BLUSHING throughout the phone call. Thank god we don't have video phone.

So, I'll let you know IF Sunday happens and what happens when it does.

The funny thing is, now that I've taken this step, I'm not as... excited... about it as I thought I might be.

WHATEVER. Maybe it's just me. Thoughts? Impressions? Need more details?

-lily

Avatar for babeslvr
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 6:31pm
i understand how you feel. his responds knocked the wind out of your sails. well dont assume, wait til the lunch and go from there. and lily dress to kill and knock him dead.
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 6:33pm
So are you planning a "no lunch" lunch or a good old platonic one with all the calories?? :) Good for you. If you want to ask somebody for lunch, you just have to do it. No second thoughs about it. Lucky for you, your MM said sure, mine would have written me a REALLY long letter explaining how he feels about us and all that... with lots of never and no's....lol
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 6:40pm
Hey French, thanks for the support. Just to clarify...

he is not M. it will definitely be a lunch w/calories because HE is not ready for anything else... of that I am certain, given his rather lukewarm attitude tonight! It's the first time I've called him at home, but hey, he's in the book. Usually we socialize through mutual friends of ours, so I've never had to call him directly about anything not related to his work.

That's why it was so hard for me to even figure out how to do it. I must have rehearsed what I was going to say for half an hour, and I still felt like a stuttering fool...

sigh.

Avatar for incognito1964
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 7:28pm
good luck lily ... sometimes we worry too much about what people think about what we do or say. just go with it. everything works itself out in the long run. hopefully sunday will be more than just lunch for you. :)
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 12:59am
Well, Lily, you are a braver woman than I (or who I was months ago, lol)! I had made a complete stuttering fool of myself and couldn't even get the words out, lol. Thankfully MM recognized my signals.

I have wanted to say for a few weeks that I wonder if you are enjoying "the chase", but I didn't want to offend you - hope I didn't now, lol.

So, my friend, now you've nudged the door, what are your "expectations" for Sunday, besides nourishment in the caloric sense? Will you be flirty and turn it up just a notch? Will you leave him wondering what those signals were really all about, or will he have given you the advice/insight you sought and you continue to chase?

So, you have the when and where I presume? And if something comes up, he will call you - lol, if I didn't believe so much in open communication, I'd say something like just make sure you are not available via phone...but since I don't like games, *IF* something comes up, make sure you have a back-up plan, or, further "tentative" plans!

Can't wait for your update!

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 5:26am
It was YOUR message that pushed me to make the move... you asked why I was giving someone else control of my ever swinging door and I thought, D***, she's right! And I spent the next 30 minutes rehearsing what I *ought* to say, then dialed his # quickly. He answered after one ring, so there was no hope of hanging up.

I think there's a 75% chance of cancellation... and 25% curiousity, on his part. We'll just have to see.

I am soooo NOT offended by your analysis, and in fact, I think you're dead-nuts-on. I love the chase...always have...but I usually only chase until they're interested enough to start doing the chasing, then I sit back and look at what I started and go, Hmm... did I really want this? Not very fair, is it?

Not sure how I'm feeling about this, but now I'm waiting to see 1) if/when he cancels and what better date option came along to cause it! and 2) if he tells his cousin and she calls me today... or if she gets mad at me... I'm supposed to have lunch w/her Friday, so maybe she'll wait to ream me then (may as well get a free sandwich out of it!)

So thanks for nudging me to pushing that door open. Let's see what happens!

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 3:53am
Hello Lily,

I'm glad you finally got that out of the way. You know, I am not all that surprised by his reaction and I don't believe that it has anything to do with you. It just seems to me that this guy is much too comfortable being lead and is probably confused when "he" must make a move/decision. :-)

It is a good thing that you are not as excited as before. IMHO, if you have to do all of the pursuing and take the initiative in every respect it isn't worth the effort. He now has an invitation to "walk through the door" and if he doesn't take it, his lose. IMHO, with your plans with H and/or if OM has to cancel, he should be the one to follow-up - or at the very least you get a memo from the cousin. LOL

If not - like water on a duck baby! LOL

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 6:08am
Good for you!!! We're all rooting for you! Keep us updated with what happens!