I didnt listen
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I didnt listen
| Wed, 12-10-2008 - 9:06pm |
Ok, guys its me again.I'm new to the board and i'm hoping to find some real friends on here, even though i didn't listen the the response u guys gave me to my last post. I just couldn't help myself, i am so into this guy.Even though i feel i'm setting myself up for a heartbreak,mm says to be patient. Neither of us can figure out why we didn't do this a yr ago before he got married. Yes, you guessed i slept with him, it was at my house and quick, but ive been on cloud nine all day. I feel like a teenager again, i'm just afraid i cant handle it. I dont even know why i'm telling you or what i want to hear. I guess i want someone to tell me its alright when i know its not. Well, just had to get it off my chest, thanks in advance for listening. I just need to know how you cope. There are times he can't text me or email, we very rarely get to talk on phone. I always wonder what he is doing or what THEY are doing, and it eats me alive. Now i know it will get worse....... Somebody slap me...lol thanks again

Okay then, you can read the rules and see if it can give you an idea of what you can expect. If you're not M then some of the list may not apply.
This is a copy of a post that was made several years ago, and one that gets bumped occasionally. I thought I would reproduce it, as there are many new people here who might want to peruse this fairly accurate and exhaustive list of what can be expected if you choose to enter AffairLand:
Decide first if you want to save your M. If so, work on saving it. If not, work on ending it. If the OP is the "right person" for you now, they'll still be "right" a year from now, when you're single.
If your AP hasn't left his spouse within 2 years, he never will.
Assume that you're the rule, not the exception.
Yes, it is possible to have sex with someone for years, say "I care deeply for you", and not be in love.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. The first time.
You deserve to be #1 in someone's life.
Communicate. Honestly, Openly, Fully, Constantly. Never pretend. Never lie. You want someone who loves YOU, not some imaginary person whom you're pretending to be.
If he has a "pretty good" marriage just lacking affection and sex, and he gets affection and sex from you, he has it all. And no reason to change. (the technical term for this is a "cake-eater".)
Your AP's spouse is a human being, with feelings, needs, wants, weaknesses, desires. They were in love with each other once, and probably still care for each other deeply.
Remember that there are two sides to every story. At least.
Children come first. Always.
Be safe. Use condoms. There is NO "safe time of month" to have sex when you can't get pregnant. No birth-control is 100% effective.
If you go from one unhealthy relationship to another to another, maybe the common element is YOU.
People are in control of themselves. It's not that someone "CAN'T" leave, it's that they don't choose to. It's not that someone "CAN'T" resist, it's that they choose not to.
Psychological and emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse. It almost never gets better without professional treatment. It almost always gets worse.
Sex is not love. Words are not love. Wanting to own and control someone is not love.
Love is good. Honesty is good. Kindness is good. Remember to be honest with yourself, kind to yourself, and to love yourself, as well as others.
It's not "whether" you'll be discovered, but "when".
Suspecting is not Knowing. Your AP's spouse might or might not "know" about the A. It's not because they don't care. They might just love and trust their spouse so much, it's inconceivable.
Divorce sucks. Staying in an unhappy marriage sucks more.
Kids know more than you think. Kids understand more than you think.
If you want something to stay a secret, don't tell anyone!
Some counselors are very, very helpful. Some aren't. You may need to try a few before you find one who "fits".
One definition of insanity is repeating the same action and expecting a different result.
Be careful what you wish for.
You can't always get what you want; but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."
- Ramona L. Anderson