I don't believe that today of all days..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
I don't believe that today of all days..
4
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 9:40am
...I am sick. I think I am coming down with the flu. My daughter has it and I think I am getting it. But the bad part is I have to go to one of our off-site locations for work with MM and we will be alone and I am sick. I really don't want him to get this but this is the first time we will have the chance to be alone in two weeks ! Oh well, karma is not on my side today. :o(

~Blue

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 9:55am
Well, he knows you're sick and contagious possibly and he has to make the choice to take that risk or not. MM was sick a while back and didn't want to hug me and I told him it was worth it to me. I know, the flu is a pretty bad thing but MM is worth it. He hugged me and I didn't get sick. But then that's not the same as kissing and other stuff. It's not necessarily the flu anyway. I get sinus and allergy problems this time of year a lot and the symptoms can be similar. If it's a sinus thing, it wouldn't be contagious. I know what you mean about karma. Often I wonder if maybe this stuff doesn't happen for a reason. A couple of weeks ago I prayed to God to help me find the strength to get myself out of this mess. So next thing I know every obstacle in the world is thrown between us and we can't be together, can't even talk, because during the usual times when we would talk one or the other of us got pulled away. Then this week his daughter got sick and there was something else he had to be out for... I didn't even see him until yesterday and then we were more hot and heavy than ever. I just keep thinking, God is TRYING to help you and you continue to think about him and dream about him and wish you could be with him every single second of every single day. I get tears in my eyes when I think about someone holding his hand out to help me out of this hole, yet I refuse to take that hand -- instead choosing to stay down here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 12:07pm
OMG lilah, the exact same thing happened to me. I secretly prayed in my mind one day when I was particularly emotional about everything for God to please take it all away, because I physically or emotionally couldn't do it. Then, UGHHHH, He did. My MM and I have a long distance relationship. Right after that "silent, yeah right" prayer I was up seeing MM. He had come to my hotel room, it had been a while, so we immediately "made up for lost time" and as we laid there, minute by minute I started getting more and more and more sick, sweating etc., I had no clue where this came from. He still had hours to be with me and we usually go hours and hours and hours, but I started getting SO sick that I had to ask him to leave, as goofy as this sounds, we were both in tears because it had been SO long since we had been able to see each other and spend time together face to face. As soon as I closed the door as he left, I started throwing up everywhere for HOURS! It was awful! Then the next week or so I went back up there, since I had ruined it for us before. We went out for a nice dinner, walked through the holiday lit downtown, just having a blast, we were both looking forward to going back to "the room"... but his wife had asked him to be back home by a certain time. (He had given her some excuse as to why he wouldn't be in for the evening or most of the night~so, we did have a time line that night). Well, we had put my car in valet and they couldn't find it!!! Then they found it and it had been wrecked!!! Needless to say after waiting all of this time and all of the paperwork, we had just enough time for him to take me to the room and him get back home and that was it. I wasn't too worried because he was going to come back to the room the next morning and spend several hours with me then. WELL... he showed up at the door with his 2 year old in his arms, saying that his W was very suspicious and demanded that he take his son on his "errands". He only stayed about 45 min. and then had to go, we were BOTH so upset! And the phone call situation is the same, has just gotten worse and worse and worse... on both sides. So, advice to anyone praying that God will bring you out of this, please be careful, because that is exactly what He'll do. We were also planning a nice trip for next month for 2 nights and 3 days and even that is now up in the air.... UGHHHHHHHHH!!! LOL Just have to laugh about it.

~Serenity

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 12:37pm
I have a co-worker who is very wise and although I would NEVER talk to her about this, I know exactly what she'd say. She'd say God takes us part of the way and the rest of the way is our responsibility. Forgive me if I'm getting too religious here... I'm CERTAINLY not one to normally be like this, but for some reason I've been thinking a lot about this stuff lately. I keep avoiding church because I feel like God must be furious with me but then it's like I hear someone else's voice telling me that God loves me no matter what I do and it makes me cry. I know it all sounds preachy and I don't mean to be that way, but that co-worker I was talking about is always saying things like that. I was telling her one day about how my father and I have never been close and that it doesn't bother me -- that I just laugh it off. She told me that one of these days I'll be ready to deal with that and when that time comes, I will. But she said until that day comes I'll never be the fully formed person I need to be. A lot of the reason I'm involved in this A in the first place, I think, is because of childhood issues that I haven't yet fully dealt with. Sometimes I wonder if she doesn't suspect something is going on between me and MM because she does work so near him and she's VERY intuitive. She would probably always believe the best of everyone, but she has to hear our flirting and his whispering into the telephone when I call him. The other day I was helping her and he came in and teased me about something I'd done. I said, "See how he picks on me" and she said, "He just does that because he loves you." I nearly fell over. He just walked off, but we've never actually said the words, so it was kinda weird...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2003
Fri, 12-12-2003 - 8:54pm
Don't worry, you aren't being preachy. Now if you would have said, "You all better stop what you are doing or you are going to go to hell", then that would be preachy! LOL ;-p