I don't even know what to say to him anymore....
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|Tue, 09-04-2012 - 10:57am|
A week after he told me he was in love with me, he told me he didn't want to ruin our friendship by crossing that line into a "relationship", which we would eventually have to end, but a friendship we can have forever, and that I didn't deserve someone who was so willing to cheat on his wife, etc., we've stayed good friends and still talk to each other about everything, just kept our feelings to ourselves. I've appreciated it... and hated it.
But lately, he's gone cold. He barely speaks to me and when he does, it's usually to tell me how many days he has left until his big vacation with his family. He will ask what is on my agenda every day, but he really doesn't care. I asked him last week if I was going to hear from him at all over the long weekend - he never answered me back and I didn't, so I take that as a no. He could have told me. He ignores all the questions I ask him.
My birthday is this next weekend and he has asked me a dozen times to tell him what I wanted - as if he could give me anything or do anything. I've thought long and hard and what I really want is for him to just acknowledge me on that day. I want to wake up to a personal email telling me happy birthday. On a Saturday. But, if he remembers now, and if he asks, I'm going to ignore the question. He can do whatever he wants, which will probably be nothing.
Dang, I miss him. I don't even know what to say to him anymore. It's like we've run out of things to talk about, not that it matters since he will barely talk to me anyway. I can't even say that i consider him an AP anymore. He's just a guy I talk to once in awhile.
My other "friend" (not really an AP), I'm not even going to tell him it's my birthday. He won't remember from last year, nor will he probably even wish me a happy birthday anyway, so why even bring it up?
Just having a "why am I doing this?" pity party.