I don't even know what to say to him anymore....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2011
I don't even know what to say to him anymore....
11
Tue, 09-04-2012 - 10:57am

A week after he told me he was in love with me, he told me he didn't want to ruin our friendship by crossing that line into a "relationship", which we would eventually have to end, but a friendship we can have forever, and that I didn't deserve someone who was so willing to cheat on his wife, etc., we've stayed good friends and still talk to each other about everything, just kept our feelings to ourselves.  I've appreciated it... and hated it.   

But lately, he's gone cold.  He barely speaks to me and when he does, it's usually to tell me how many days he has left until his big vacation with his family.  He will ask what is on my agenda every day, but he really doesn't care.  I asked him last week if I was going to hear from him at all over the long weekend - he never answered me back and I didn't, so I take that as a no.  He could have told me.   He ignores all the questions I ask him.  

My birthday is this next weekend and he has asked me a dozen times to tell him what I wanted - as if he could give me anything or do anything.   I've thought long and hard and what I really want is for him to just acknowledge me on that day.  I want to wake up to a personal email telling me happy birthday.  On a Saturday.  But, if he remembers now, and if he asks, I'm going to ignore the question.  He can do whatever he wants, which will probably be nothing.  

Dang, I miss him.  :smileysad:   I don't even know what to say to him anymore.  It's like we've run out of things to talk about, not that it matters since he will barely talk to me anyway.  I can't even say that i consider him an AP anymore.  He's just a guy I talk to once in awhile.  

My other "friend" (not really an AP), I'm not even going to tell him it's my birthday.  He won't remember from last year, nor will he probably even wish me a happy birthday anyway, so why even bring it up?  

Just having a "why am I doing this?" pity party.  :smileysad:

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2011
Re: I don't even know what to say to him anymore....
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 5:54pm

"Some rare times, you meet that one special person in your life that just being a part of their day seems to make yours even better. Even if all you can get is that one mere moment."   This is exactly how I feel about my AP/friend/whatever he is.  

You have such a way with words, pleases!  Why such an expert?  

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2011

Well, I wish you luck in finding that complete happiness.  Someone, somewhere will be very lucky to have you.  

 

Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Pleases...please never leave!!!! Lol. Bridges of Madison County...((sigh)). "this kind of certainty comes but once in a lifetime". My favorite movie of all time and have become Francesca. I can't count how many times my hand has been on the doorknob. I feel her pain daily.

 

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Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007

 

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Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
I am sorry your plans fell through. I know how heartbreaking that can be. :smileysad:
I am glad he replied with what you wanted to hear. Must be pretty gratifying.
My AP is the king of mixed signals. It sucks when you don't know where it stands.

 

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