I don't know what to think of myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
I don't know what to think of myself
1
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 6:18am
I can't talk to anyone about this, so that's why I'm posting here for advice, input...... for the past 3 weeks I have been seeing a married man - he started "it", and I was just too bowled over to be firm and stick to my initial "NO". I am enjoying every moment we spend together, but of course I feel guilty towards his wife - met her once, seems 'normal' - he tells me that in his culture/country affairs are an everyday/everywhere non-event, that he's had many women etc. Complicating this are two more factors: he was my student in a summer class, and I have a 17 year old daughter living with me. I have been discreet, but she's not stupid, so we don't talk about where I go on weekend afternoons! I also told him he could never come back to my class, so far he is going along with it, but it is exiling him from potential friends he could be making. And of course I have to sneak around because a lot of people know me in this town, and it might affect my job (teaching) if it becomes public. We are both middle aged, I have been divorced for 1 year after 10 dead years in a 23 year marriage! I am incredibly happy when we're together, and yet I know that we are existing in a vaccuum. If my friends found out, they would never speak to me again! WHAT DO I DO????? HOW do I get the strength to not meet him anymore? HELP!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 09-15-2003 - 6:56pm
Hi ramann and welcome,

I'm not sure that I have any answers that will help you in any way... I think you know what you need to do... but it's really a matter of whether you want to.

You need to weigh up the risks... such as your job, family and friends and see if all that is worth what this man is giving you.

Also you may be happy now... but what happens when you want more from him than he gan give... as I feel from what you say... he's only looking for something 'extra'

I'm not saying any of this to be hurtfull... just to maybe help you understand what you are getting into and if that is really what you want.

I hope that by bumping this to the top again... there may be a few more out there with a little more to offer.

Whatever you do... we will be here to support you... and please do keep us up to date.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My