I don't wanna be so understanding!
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I don't wanna be so understanding!
| Thu, 04-15-2004 - 4:54pm |
Can I whine for a minute? I had a really great chat with MM the other day. They are few and far between these days (maybe once a week instead of once a day) and I really cherish them. We were supposed to talk again today, but he called to tell me that he was having one of those days (headache, etc.) and decided to leave work early. I had a feeling that was going to happen. I told myself not to count on anything. But I couldn't stop myself from being hopeful and then being disappointed. I told him I understand. And I do. But I don't wanna be so darn understanding! I want to whine and tell him I miss him and I hate that we don't get to talk much any more. I tried hard to keep the disappointment out of my voice because I know things are difficult for him too. (For those who may not know, his W found out about our LD, emotional A and she told my H. MM and W are in counseling. H and I are dealing with things on our own.) But I know that he could tell I was unhappy. So then I beat myself up for that because I don't want him to feel pressured by me in any way. Arrrggh!!!
Oh well. I am happy that at least he called to let me know. I know he misses me too. This is just really hard sometimes. Well, OK, a lot of the time. LOL!!!
Thanks for letting me vent!
GB2

I'm having a hard time understanding though, why it is that they get to call the shots? We're both married, we both are assuming the same risks - why does HE decide when and if we get together, email etc? Oy! I am a bit cranky today!
Vent anytime - I'll be happy to send hugs your way . . .
((((((GB2)))))))))
Oh my goodness! I was thinking of this, :).
I always seem to be the understanding one also and I'm tired of it too. I understand the pressures he has. Work, family and everything that goes with that, but dam it!! I'm tired. Emotionally tired.
One week is good then the next week is bad, then the next is off again, then we're back to good again.
With me I feel I am too new into this relationship. We have KNOWN each other 7 mos. and we decided when we started seeing each other again (we seperated in Dec for about 6 weeks)that we would be a lot more discreet. Well when you do that you don't have as much time to be together or even be able to talk on the phone, email, ect..
We are planning a Saturday to be together (wife going out of town) and there is a week in the summer he will be alone. There will be some libations (sp) when we get together then and we will talk I am sure. Last time we had a drink over wine the "deep feelings for you" talk started. I just don't want to make this heavier right now than it should be.
Giving him some space so he doesn't think I am obsessed....even if I borderline am! LOL
deedee
Thanks!
NRY
In the meantime, perhaps what I need to do is let him know that I've been holding back and explain why. I think he'll understand - after all, he knows me better than I know myself most of the time. And in fact I've been meaning to talk to him about it. But since we don't get to talk much any more, I just really hate for every conversation we have to be deep and intense, you know? I figure he gets enough of that in counseling.
Anyway, thank you SO MUCH to everyone for all your support. It is so nice to know there are others out there struggling with similar issues. I've got my fingers crossed that we'll all get to talk to/see our MM/OM/MW/OW soon. I'm supposed to call MM today if I can - but H has the day off so I'll have to be careful. As usual, I'll try not get my hopes up too much!
(((((Hugs))))) all around!
GB2