I ended it

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
I ended it
11
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 8:32am
I have been seeing my MM for almost two years and have fallen in love with him. I know he cares about me, but probably not as muuch as I care about him. Anyways last night I called him and told him (for the first time) that I loved him, and because of that I couldn't see him anymore. His response? "Good luck in your ventures". What the F!#* is that supposed to mean? I open my heart to him and thats all I get? I feel alot better having finally told him how I feel. I guess I thought he'd have something more meaningful to say.Anyone else have an experience like this?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
In reply to: imabbunny
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 8:59am
I don't have an experience like the one you are talking about, but WOW! After two years, that's the response you get? I'm so sorry. What a bad ending. It sucks to be hurt like that. I'll be thinking of you.

(((HUGS)))

Avatar for mikkolover
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
In reply to: imabbunny
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 10:10am
hang in there, at least now you know what it all meant to him. I hope that doesn't sound too harsh, I just mean that maybe he doesn't know how to express himself and this scared him. Then again after 2 years... take care and try not to make any excuses for HIM.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: imabbunny
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 10:13am
Well of course that was not the most sensitive of responses and not the one you were hoping for but perhaps you simply caught him off guard. We know what these relationships do to us and for one to go on for two years I am sure his heart is broken and he is sitting there beside himself as I write this. He probably has your words ringing inside of his head that the A is over. You have spoken and he probably believes that he must respect your wishes.

My OM has repeatedly said to me when I've tried to call it quits "I certainly wish you well in your relationship with your H because all I want is for you to be happy and if it is with him that is going to make you that way then please give it all you got."

elf

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
In reply to: imabbunny
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 11:03am
Hi Bunny here's a (((hug))) for you. I know after seeing him for 2 years you would expect more. But I agree with the others, you probably caught him off guard and he said the 1st thing that came to mind. He was probably not expecting that at all from you. Another thing is that he may feel he has no hold over you, and therefore can't ask you not to end it.

I've been seeing my MM over 2 years also, I don't know what he would say if I tried to end it. I wouldn't be surprised if he said something similar. I know he wouldn't try and convince me not to, he would probably be happy for me to work on my relationship with H.

Anyways, hope you cheer up. And what will do you from here anyways? What if he DOES get ahold of you again, what will you do? Just a couple of questions for you.

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: imabbunny
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 11:08am
I am going to have to agree with the demented elf(Sounds Funny) but I think u really caught him off guard. I know when my MW told me that we shouldn't talk so much, that we needed to slow things down my reaction was I hope you r happy and if u need anything u know were 2 find me. 2 or 3 days later I was calling telling her I could not let her go that easily.

Also, it depends were he is emotionally. Has he ever hinted that it is more then just casual. Some men put up a front to not get hurt. I know I act like every thing is fine but then again i am here hurting a lot of the time. He will never try to seem weak in front of u.

Sorry that u r going through this I know it sucks n we r here 4 u.

Giant

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
In reply to: imabbunny
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 11:57am
Hey, Bunny... so sorry about the outcome, but it's not really over till the fat lady sings (so to speak). You may want to ask yourself what you really wanted him to say to you. Were you really saying goodbye, or were you wanting him to also declare his love and beg you not to go? I only ask because I see this pattern in myself. I set a scene up, then I'm disappointed when it doesn't play out the way I want it. But I do agree with Giant and Elf. He must have been so suprised. I probably would have said something similar, just as a defense mechanism. I know it's hard but if it's not over for you, or you need more closure, perhaps you need to approach him again and just ask the questions on your heart. At this point, what is there to lose except maybe the doubts. At any rate, trust what you've felt for the past two years. He must have shown you something or you wouldn't have fallen in love with him, right? Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
In reply to: imabbunny
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 12:24pm
After I told him this, I asked him if he had any thing to say and he said nope. He is the proverbial strong and silent type, he's a man of few words, however I can tell by his actions that he cares about me. I do have a feeling I will hear from him again.

B's bunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
In reply to: imabbunny
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 1:32pm

Lol, I read your post and it made me smile, :). Because I just about do the same thing. In my 4 years with my MM, I have tested him in that way. Set up a scenario and hope it goes the way I planned. I know it's silly. Anyway,I don't do it anymore. Mayyybe, once in a while. He knows me quite well so I can't get away with it as often, lol.


I agree with everyone here also though. He just became defensive and didn't know what the heck to say.


My MM gets defensive in that way also. There have been a few times when I've told him not to worry about certain situations and he'll get all bent out of shape and push me away, but then calms down after a bit....


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
In reply to: imabbunny
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 2:48pm
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Edited 4/24/2004 4:31 pm ET ET by julietsfate
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
In reply to: imabbunny
Tue, 04-13-2004 - 6:26pm

I may be lucky in that way, but my MM has his querks too. He thinks his word is golden. I've written before in saying I think we spoil them a bit too much. I know I have a tendency to do that to his ego at times. Then I wonder why he gets the way he does, :)..


I've learned to pull back though and not feed his ego sooo much anymore, :).....

 

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