I ENDED IT

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
I ENDED IT
53
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 10:46am

Hey kind folks,


A few of you may know my story here but here is an update. I ended my A of 11 months with my married AP. I told her that i could no longer look my wife in the eye and lie to her. I love my AP but this will have to be picked up at some other time. That time will be when I am divorced. She didnt take it very well. We have discussed it several times before. Like pulling teeth. We were also growing apart due to distance. She never felt guilty about cheating on her husband and family. That bothered me. If once she would have said to me, this is wrong I understand that you don't want to cheat on your wife and I shouldn't do this to my husband I may have wanted to keep some contact with her. She had many chances and never said that. We may remain in Limited contact but I expect her to go look for her Prince Charming that she just has to have now that she turned 40. I can't live my life for her anymore.


I don't judge those here currently in A's because I did it myself. I just can't do it anymore. Can't say I feel all that great today. In A's for me it is lose, lose, lose. I hurt my wife, lose. I now hurt my AP, lose. I lied to myself, lose. So for those looking to start and A, I would reccommend not. Not all A's are bad but most end badly.


I know there are others here on this board who may be on the other end of this situation. I don't expect a pat on the back. I can only say that I need to be true to myself and can't go on hating myself every day. I don't feel all that great today but I hope in a week or two I will start to feel better.


Thanks to all on this board who offered their support.


Adm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
In reply to: amexdm
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 12:09pm
some people are here because they are in pain and are trying to learn to deal with that pain. once you figure out how to channel that pain, then the affair itself can be enjoyable, a filler for what's missing in your life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
In reply to: amexdm
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 12:21pm

OK, I guess everyone has their own take.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
In reply to: amexdm
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 1:00pm
Thank you for a well thought out post. I enjoyed reading it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
In reply to: amexdm
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 2:07pm

>>>"p.s Goddess don't get me wrong because I agree with what you have to say, its just I don't think its the right place to say those things, KWIM?"<<<

Look, I base my response on what I feel the poster need to hear. They're in pain, trouble, have legitimate issues, confused, etc., then I respond if i feel I can help. I don't go around just responding on people's posts if I see they're happy and choosing to wallow in fantasy la-la-land. There are lots of posts and posters here I won't even glance because it would be wasting my time. So, IDKWYM!

As I said before, I have my own brand of saying it like I see it. Those who don't like it and can't benefit from it are asked to move on....

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com


"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


- Ramona L. Anderson
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
In reply to: amexdm
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 3:44pm

You shouldn't have to defend yourself Amex.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
In reply to: amexdm
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 5:09pm
I'm just saying...... LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
In reply to: amexdm
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 7:16pm
Hopefull...I think a lot of people are on this board because an affair can be a very isolating place to be and they want to interact/connect with others who find themselves in the same or similar situation because unless you are there you will never understand.
maystone
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
In reply to: amexdm
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 7:40pm

Maystone,


I support YOU as a human spirit as many others have supported me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
In reply to: amexdm
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 8:38pm

Maystone, this board is what it is -

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
In reply to: amexdm
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 12:16am
I did try to ignore, but it just seemed there is/was something very wrong going on with some of the things I was seeing on a regular basis and I felt compelled to respond.
maystone