I expected this

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
I expected this
8
Sat, 06-05-2010 - 6:19am

Hi all,


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2007
In reply to: ali412010
Sat, 06-05-2010 - 8:44am
Hi Ali,
So sorry about how your AP is treating you. I have been in that situation and it rots. There is no excuse for setting up a date and then not showing up so you have a right to be angry. If he is treating you like this then you need to stop it by 1) letting him know it is unacceptable behavior and 2) if he does it again there will be consequences. Make sure you stick to whatever it is you say your going to do so that you remain constant and believable. If he thinks he can treat you this way then he will.
I don't know if you are married. I am in a long time relationship with a MM and I am a MW. I had "hoped" at some point he would leave his wife for me but the reality is both of us stated right from the beginning we would not leave our spouses. Most, not all, but most do not leave. They have too much invested in their lives, kids, jobs, houses, finances, ect. As a MW so do I. Find out what your boundaries are and stick to them. Good luck.
Fran
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
In reply to: ali412010
Sat, 06-05-2010 - 10:22am

this is a hard time for you.. no question about that... and no easy way out..


even if you mean a lot to him, his family will always come first.. no way around that.. and in the immediate future, if you make up and move forward, there will be more of these situations..


try.. letting go.. in terms of just let him take the lead.. let him be available.. and make yourself scarce.. if he happens to have time for you, then see if you have time for him, not the other way around.. otherwise, you are always at his beck and call..


if you can't completely cut him out of your life.. see if you can try to make him an "option".. if he's there, good... if not, you already have a life to move forward with..


surely easier said than done, but, short of NC and breaking up, this may get you to a better place.. just may..


in the meantime, think about what you are worth... i'd like to think.. much much better than this..


--

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
In reply to: ali412010
Sat, 06-05-2010 - 10:28am

Hi Franchesca,


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
In reply to: ali412010
Sat, 06-05-2010 - 3:13pm

Many ((((hugs)))) ali!


Unfortunately, I'm feeling a bit bitter (and somewhat in the same boat as you) today, so don't have any advice.


Hopefully you're able to find some peace and happiness, be that with him or without.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
In reply to: ali412010
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 10:57am

Hi never,


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
In reply to: ali412010
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 11:04am

hi another,


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: ali412010
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 11:07am
Sorry you were feeling that way Ali. (((Hugs))), and I hope he realizes that it hurts you when he stands you up, even if it's hard for him to make contact. IMO, once a spouse is suspicious, discovery is inevitable, so I hope you're both prepared for that. There are just too many EASY, cheap ways to be caught!

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
In reply to: ali412010
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 1:17pm

Hi lexi,