i feel guilty . . .sorta
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i feel guilty . . .sorta
| Tue, 04-14-2009 - 12:47pm |
I have been married for ten years. We have had a number of issues in our relationship: domestic violence, ex issues, major issues with his two kids, him not working, etc. I'm only thirty, and i often feel like i haven't started living my life yet. I met this guy online. We've been IMing each other for a couple of weeks. I think we are going to meet. I know infidelity is wrong, but i am so unhappy. I can't afford a divorce lawyer right now, and aside from that, husband has no place to go. He never leaves the house, he doesn't have any friends, and he never speaks to anyone in his family. I am so miserably unhappy with him, but I don't want to whore around behind his back, I just want to be happy, and this new guy seems really nice, laid back. I'd like to get to know him better. What do I do?

Honest answer? If you are that miserable in your marriage then you should really address that. If there are past domestic violence issues I would worry about your safety should your H find out.
Some lines are impossible to uncross once crossed. The infidelity line is one of those. Please be very careful. An affair will not fix the problems in your marriage. It may mask them for a time, but they will always exist (unless you and your H work together to overcome them).
~Shadowz
Edited 4/14/2009 12:52 pm ET by cl-intheshadowz
Please think this through, smp...especially with a husband who is prone to violence.
SMP,
Getting involved with someone else is not the answer. It will only muddy the waters and your thinking. Trust me.
I don't know what state you live in, but in my state it is possible to do a divorce without an attorney. My neighbor got all the forms from one of those sites, completed them and got her divorce for under $500. They were married almost 20 years and there were children involved; teens.
They worked it out themselves...no divorce attorney.
I'm not saying divorce is the answer. Not by a long shot. But you sounded so despondent and I wanted to let you know it IS possible in some cases.
You mentioned domestic violence. If it's been directed towards you or the children I think you know what you have to do. Be careful and be safe.