I Feel Like a Heel!
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I Feel Like a Heel!
| Tue, 04-06-2004 - 3:26pm |
Okay, my blood is boiling, but I feel like a heel.
Red
Edited 4/22/2004 8:40 am ET ET by red_bella

One other thing I wanted to add that might make you feel better...did you ever stop to think that perhaps he is just saying what he thinks you need to hear? Maybe he is hurting just as much as you but wants to be strong so you can do what you need to. Just a thought.
Be strong Red. I know how difficult what you're doing is. I was there 3 months ago. Just keep your focus on the here and now and try not to dig too deeply into your feelings for MM. Your M is going to require your full attention if you want to resolve your issues. I'm here if you ever need to talk.
Love
Ya an Ouch all right, but perhaps whats best for you right now.
F
Try not to dwell on it too much. You extended yourself, and he wasn't ready to make the connection. If and when he is, he will come to you. Maybe he just needs some time before he is ready to contact you again. Just know that this all will make you stronger in the long run.
((hugs))
Circe
All I can say is hang in there.
(((((MORE HUGS))))))
GB2
You know, my MM decided early on in our A that he wanted to try and work it out with his W. He sat behind me at work, and would talk to her on the phone real lovey dovey. It was all I could do to not come out of my skin! Our job was such that we could be on the road or work from home a lot. After a point, I began working from home as I didn't want to be near him. He would then call me frequently during the day and try to get me to meet with him. He would preach to me about various self help books and counseling, and offer advice on how I should be trying to save my M, too. In hindsight, I know he was just very confused over his feelings for me. But at the time, it was absolute hell. On one hand I felt guilty that if I was trying to be a true and caring friend then I should be happy for him that he was working out his problems at home. On the other hand, I felt that he was being incredibly cruel for doing all of this in front of my eyes. Well things certainly changed a bit when my H sent me flowers at work (for my birthday) and he overheard me talking to him over the phone thanking him for the flowers and saying 'I love you too' to the hubby.
Red, I just don't think that he's forgotten you or stopped caring, but rather that he's just scared right now and trying to save face.
Hang in there sweetie, we are all here for you.
Virgogirl
I really feel for you. Isn't it amazing how the smallest amount of words can hurt the most? I am sure this wasn't the reply you wanted from him. But I think it was said in a previous post - I think he's just trying to do what is best for both of you. I think men can be quite resolute about things, which perhaps makes it a little easier for them. But again, as was said elsewhere, none of this means he doesn't care deeply for you or think about you and remember the time you had together. You can't turn feelings off like a switch. (Sometimes I wish we could - life would be much easier). If you are committed to sorting out your M (and I really admire you for that), then that's where your focus needs to be 100%. I understand the need for connection to xMM though, I really do. But perhaps for now, when you feel that strong desire to connect, perhaps here is where you should come. Try and connect to all your friends here (and I see that you have many), rather than with him. Even if it's just for now, until you are a little stronger. From reading everything today, I can see that there is a whole community here supporting you and willing you on to be strong and get through this.
Be strong xx