I feel horrible. I am having an affair
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I feel horrible. I am having an affair
| Mon, 05-04-2009 - 11:58am |
I'm new here so first off - hello!
My
| Mon, 05-04-2009 - 11:58am |
I'm new here so first off - hello!
My
i can't really reply but you may want to check out two other boards: Life after Betrayal and AAS (After the Affair ?) or even Ending the Affair (EAS) which are listed under Related Boards on the right side.
Mrs.
Edited 5/4/2009 12:23 pm ET by mrs.smithandjones
Okay...I had an affair , and the reasons were almost the same. It happened sometime in 2000 first week in April. I recall it like it was yesterday, because it was a big turning point in my marriage at that time. I never for one second stopped loving my husband. I told him about it about 2 days later, and later that month I found out I was pregnant. At first my first thought was I wanted to end the pregnancy and I didn't understand why my husband wanted to stay with me even if there was a chance it wasn't his. His words were " the baby didn't pick to come in this world and no matter what I am going to be here with you" turned out it was my husband's. We worked it out.
In 2008 we almost divorced we had dates set and everything....the army had pretty much killed us. He was never home, and when he was he was into porn. So, I thought it was time to call it off. I met someone while he was in Korea. The guy was like a dream. He was nice and said all the right things.
My husband and I even though we had issues still remained friends, and he had a date sat with JAG. Before that date came up we were really into the game World of Warcraft. We started to talk more, and more. To the point where he wasn't going out and I wasn't either we spent all our time on the PC chatting together and playing this game. He asked me to reconsider just this once. He was like we both have done things, but we love each other. I liked the guy that I was seeing, but I loved my husband so I ended things with the om. Later when he got back into the states we talked, he told me about him and some woman he met in Colombia. He told me how sick it made him, and said he just really wanted to fix things. He knew about the person I saw, we both asked each other for forgiveness.
At times we both look at each other and ask why did you forgive me! Our answers are the same.....we love each other. Sometimes we make mistakes...but when someone loves you they will forgive you...and that helps you see that person in a new light. As for feeling guilty....that just means you are a good person.
People have this idea about people who have affairs...not all of us are bad people sometimes everyone gets lost. Perhaps that is what happened in your case, but I will tell you in order to make your marriage work you will need to let the other man go. There have been times when I still think about talking to the other person just to see how he is and to be his friend. Yet, I know it isn't a good idea so I try to stay away from that. That is the reason I come and read the blogs here because it helps me to see that affairs are really messy. I want my family to stay together. I have been married 12 yrs..and I love my husband for better or worse.
Plus it really sucked when he told me about the lady he was with. It hurt like hell. You never know how it truely feels until you get it back.
You have a wonderful husband.
Hi "c".
Welcome. You'll find people here in all stages of A's--some happily in them, some wondering if they should end them, and some of us who have ended them, but with different outcomes.
I can totally related to how you feel right now. This happened to me.
I was unhappy in my M., didn't feel like my H. was responding to my attempts to get him to see this, and I fell in love with someone else.
I too felt horribly guilty, confessed (no real D-Day), and guess what? My H. wanted to rebuild too. I was shocked...almost certain he would immediately ask for a divorce.
But he didn't and I didn't know what to do. I think maybe I was hoping he would
Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love. ~Anonymous
&nb
Hi C~
Honey, YOU ARE NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON!!!
I just jumped over here from the All Sides of an Affair Board...There's a really compelling post there that you might read.
Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love. ~Anonymous
&nb
Sorry I came across this late but - I only found this board again cuz I was on another- many yrs ago I also had an EA. Long story short - I'm divorced now.
However, your situation. At least you know the reason you strayed - you said "we have become