I gave in and went PA

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2008
I gave in and went PA
2
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 10:04pm

Okay I'm confused. I posted last week how I knew that my EA needed to end before it went to far. Too late. I feel like I'm in unchartered territory. All of the E stuff that goes on between us is GREAT!!! I was having a hard time leaving because honestly I loved all the attention. On Saturday he surprised me and came over. It was great!! We talked and laughed and went P. I couldn't resist. I thought that I would feel SUPER guilty and honestly I don't. Is that normal?? I don't regret a thing and I don't think that he does either. Is this how it all starts?? I didn't want to be here and I really did try to leave I was just too emtionally involved. Now I think it is too late. I can't imagine going even one day without talking to him.


I do feel bad that I care for him so much and don't want to be without him and that it would be easier to just let him go and we wouldn't have these issues ( I'm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2006
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 11:56pm
You just bought a ticket for the rollercoaster. Don't expect him to contact you right after having sex. From what you said, he is one who will feel immensely guilty about that. He is already stressing that he won't leave his M. I know you are on a huge high right now after sleeping with him, but he may not be. Also, don't expect it to happen right away or even anytime soon. A lot of M guys will pull back for awhile after the first time with another woman. Sex will make the A incredibly complicated. Don't say no one warned you. Welcome to the board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 3:29pm

You're single, right? So why should you feel guilty?

I broke up with my boyfriend whilst MM and I were having an EA. He made me see the b/f was a lowlife (ironically, he was a cheating lowlife....) and I didn't leave because I was in love with someone else but because he was able to help me work through my feelings.

I can still remember the first day he came to my place - we knew each other a little through mutual friends but we'd never really talked face to face, he'd been too shy. We had planned to go to dinner and he was staying overnight - on the couch if it didn't go so well. Come 10pm, I took his hand, led him to bed and we had the sweetest sex I ever had. Slept curled into each other and woke up as dawn broke and made half-asleep love before we had to go our separate ways.

Never felt guilty though. I don't know his W and I've learnt that unless you can manage your feelings you will be swamped by "secondhand sad". So while I would feel sad if he said felt guilty (and I think he only ever said that once), I never felt it for myself.

I can honestly say he never pulled away though. He phoned me the next day and the day after and things were pretty much as they'd been before but with a new closeness.

D x