I gave in and went PA
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| Mon, 10-06-2008 - 10:04pm |
Okay I'm confused. I posted last week how I knew that my EA needed to end before it went to far. Too late. I feel like I'm in unchartered territory. All of the E stuff that goes on between us is GREAT!!! I was having a hard time leaving because honestly I loved all the attention. On Saturday he surprised me and came over. It was great!! We talked and laughed and went P. I couldn't resist. I thought that I would feel SUPER guilty and honestly I don't. Is that normal?? I don't regret a thing and I don't think that he does either. Is this how it all starts?? I didn't want to be here and I really did try to leave I was just too emtionally involved. Now I think it is too late. I can't imagine going even one day without talking to him.
I do feel bad that I care for him so much and don't want to be without him and that it would be easier to just let him go and we wouldn't have these issues ( I'm

You're single, right? So why should you feel guilty?
I broke up with my boyfriend whilst MM and I were having an EA. He made me see the b/f was a lowlife (ironically, he was a cheating lowlife....) and I didn't leave because I was in love with someone else but because he was able to help me work through my feelings.
I can still remember the first day he came to my place - we knew each other a little through mutual friends but we'd never really talked face to face, he'd been too shy. We had planned to go to dinner and he was staying overnight - on the couch if it didn't go so well. Come 10pm, I took his hand, led him to bed and we had the sweetest sex I ever had. Slept curled into each other and woke up as dawn broke and made half-asleep love before we had to go our separate ways.
Never felt guilty though. I don't know his W and I've learnt that unless you can manage your feelings you will be swamped by "secondhand sad". So while I would feel sad if he said felt guilty (and I think he only ever said that once), I never felt it for myself.
I can honestly say he never pulled away though. He phoned me the next day and the day after and things were pretty much as they'd been before but with a new closeness.
D x