I give up!
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I give up!
| Sun, 07-04-2010 - 12:59pm |
Hi all,
Well still no word from AP but this is not unusual for him. I think that I have come to a point where I have give up with him.I don't know if he has

I just want to write some encouragement to you. This A stuff is really difficult. I am in my
first A as well, and I share some of your feelings. Especially the not hearing from AP for days at a time. I often wonder if I matter to him at all. No matter how stupid we may feel for being in an A, there can be good that comes from every situation. Try not to be too hard on yourself. What is important is to take care of you. We do not owe our AP's anything. I am trying to offer more of a friendship to my AP - we know that I have no intention of leaving my H. He is S, wants
the sex, but I know he values my friendship, too. I don't want to make this too easy for him. That being said, I am very tempted to text him today, to wish him a Happy 4th of July. But why can't he text me? This is what I struggle with. I'll probably end up caving, and texting him. :(
anyway, I am reaching out to others on this
board slowly but surely and hope that I can have someone reach out to me as well.
Oh, I didn't realize that you had told him if he went back to his W that it was over.
Hi Heart,
Hi jane,
yeah thats what I told him before
thanks so much for your response. After I had posted my last
message on this thread, I went to check my facebook account and suddenly I received a text from AP! He was letting me know that he would be back home tomorrow night...of course, I was thrilled to have heard from him. I sent him a brief text back, saying I would be back tomorrow morning. I am not going to suggest getting together tomorrow night, I will just leave the ball in his court. I appreciate your input as a SW, Ali, and I know
this has to be difficult for him as a SM in an A with a MW, knowing that I have no plans to leave H right now. My AP and I are very open and honest with each other in our communication, and we talk about future stuff - I have 4 kids and I know he isn't sure how he would handle that if I left H and he
and I stayed together. We both talk about how we do not want to hurt
each other - I know this is inevitable at some point and I hate the fact that I have put him into this situation. I care for him very much, and I desire to see him happy. If
he does things with his other friends who happen to
be female, I do not pout or get irritated with him. And this R isn't just about the sex (though that is amazing). We thoroughly enjoy one another and our friendship is strong. There is so much inside me that wishes the sex had never started, but it is what it is. My H is not capable of giving me the emotional or physical affection that I need (or crave) and both my AP and I hope that maybe, just maybe, what we are going through with each other is just a mid-life crisis. It feels like more, though, when I am with him. I desperately try to keep my emotions in check. Difficult road. And I really am not sure how I got on it in the first place. But I am really trying to look at the positives in every situation. :)
Hi Heart,
I'm so sorry ali:(.
anotherseyes
Hi another,
Thanks I do agree with you that I allow his behaviour and forgive him so he knows he can always come back to me and I have no one but myself to blame.
I am not sure I even want him back now. I have had time to think things over and I don't want to have to keep going through this drama every week. Everytime he does this I just think to myself is this what I really want? and the answer is no.
He knows what he is doing hurts me yet he continues to disrespect me. Maybe if he does come back it should be on my terms this time. I'm not even sure he will get back in touch with me, I was presuming he would from his previous behavior but I'm not so sure now.
I am upset and hurting but I know I will be ok if AP does not get in touch. I think that I would like to know for definate if it is over so that I can get closure and move on with my life.This has been a big learrning curve for me about myself and the choices I have made,and I know I will never get myself into another A again.
alix
Hi Ali,
I feel for your situation and hope just for you sanity that he does reach out to you and lets you know where you both
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
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Hi Rayne,