i give up

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
i give up
20
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 7:04pm
i wrote an email to online om that just about says it all..but don't worry..i'm not leaving this board..i love listening to your situations.

here's what i wrote:

i don't know what to think anymore. it's been 3 weeks since we've talked. you aren't responding to my emails. i don't know how to feel anymore. it's like you've disappeared and i'm tired of feeling like crap since i haven't heard from you.

i apologize in advance if this hurts your feelings but i'm moving on. i hate being left hanging and waiting to see if you are ever going to email me...staying online all night just in case you message me.

i've really been putting my life on hold for you...and i can't do that anymore. my life is happening NOW, not 3 years from now.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
In reply to: seansluv
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 2:56pm
Actually ... the town you mentioned, I do live near there.
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
In reply to: seansluv
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 3:01pm
But seriously, I know how badly you women are feeling. I have been going thru the same thing, do I email him? Do I maintain NC and wait for him to email me? I sit pathetically in front of the computer waiting for some sign from him. Its terrible, and I feel heartbroken too most of the time. The only times I feel okay is when I am with my kids and can forget about H and MM both. I did see MM yesterday, but haven't heard from him today and don't know if the silence is ended, maybe that was just a "pick-me-up roll in the sack" for him yesterday, who knows?? I'm just trying not to get my hopes up there only to have them dashed again. If I can try to maintain a cool "who gives a s***" attitude, maybe I can get thru this without losing my sanity.
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
In reply to: seansluv
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 3:02pm
I agree totally. They (men) seem to be "OK" with the NC while we "lose it" Well, I do anyway. Women are differnt that way. We are always ready to talk about it, to clear things up. While there was never a problem in their minds. We stress out and worry till we hear from them again. We do this to ourselves ALL THE TIME!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
In reply to: seansluv
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 10:09pm
dear girls....

I read all our posts and am simply amazed how we allso willing to

accept whatever scraps fall from the table.... when will we learn...

Me, idiot that I AM calls his voice mail today.... and left a short one,

" I feel like an idiot to keep calling like this...... this is my schedule...

want to tell me what's going on...." I mean really, stop playing with me already...

but hear we are... here is my heart... go ahead stomp all over it... I'll come

running back for more........ I could really scream........

He knows I love him and it's almost as if... he's like lets see if this makes

her stop loving me or this... or this....rather than say He can't do it anymore or

whatever...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
In reply to: seansluv
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 11:03pm
msdeb

Hang in there hon, and don't be so hard on yourself. You are human, that's all (and female)!!

That is exactly why I will not tell him how I feel.

Be strong,

Charlotte

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
In reply to: seansluv
Thu, 11-06-2003 - 9:31am
I know I need to practice what I preach and by all means remind me that I said all this next time Im balling on everyone's shoulders here...LOL

...We can't control his actions but we can control our response to them...

I am trying my best to learn that NC doesnt mean he doesnt love me, doesnt respect me, isnt thinking about me etc...it simply means that something came up and he just has too much going on to call me. I have thought about all the worse case sinerios over the past 2 years wondering if he just friggin died or what...LOL - I must admit over the past 2 years Ive had several 4-5 day NC period with him, usually over a weekend...and he just had a busy Friday/Monday etc...there has been one time he went into his cave for 2 weeks, didnt return my calls, wouldnt answer his phone no matter what # I called him from...and he came back to me ready to talk after 2 weeks and told me he was in love with me....never has the reason for the NC been even close to what I conjured up in my mind...

Sometimes your mind can be so cruel to you...I suggest you try to find things to keep you busy and think fondly of him...of course he COULD call you but something else is on his plate right now and we all know men have one track minds and are task focused unless of course we're talking about taking out the garbage or mowing the lawn....lol

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
In reply to: seansluv
Thu, 11-06-2003 - 12:27pm


Hey Charlotte,

thanks for the support, I appreciate it... still NCB today and

I still feel stupid and ignored and sad about the whole thing...2 weeks ago I called his voicemail in tears over my son ( has ADHD) being put in shortened class and having had a bad day with him then arguing w/the stbex.... I was a mess... anyway he called me right back the next day....... I 'm used to not hearing from him most times on the weekend..

unless he can come over before work early on a Saturday or sneak away on a Sunday morning

which lately is rare.

I do know he loves me , we have long history but it gets harder and harder

since I am counting everyday I don't talk to him, Jeez I have to listen to an old voicemail I have saved just to help me remember that it is just space he is needing

It hurts so much though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
In reply to: seansluv
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 12:38am
Hi girls....

Finally got the call and come to find he was out of state for 7days

and that was pretty much it....... guess one was right with what we conjure up

in our minds ususally being worse than what actually is... he left a lengthy

email explaining and all then let me kno his next day free and said he 'd call

when he got back b/c he would be away this weekend. I wasn't too happy not see

him this weekend but glad to know when I can expect to talk again instead of the

wondering I'd been doing....... Thanks for listening... keep you posted.

Deb

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
In reply to: seansluv
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 8:17am
SEE!!! TOLD YA' SO!!! LOL *hugs* Glad your mind is finally at ease! Keep the faith

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
In reply to: seansluv
Mon, 11-10-2003 - 9:06am
Bravo! Congratulations on taking control of your life! There is no reason for n/c; too many ways to contact someone in this day and age. A day or two I can understand, but more then that is a lack of consideration and respect - something each and everyone on this board deserves from everyone in our life. If someone can't treat us with those those two very basic elements, then it's time to move on.

Learn from this, let it go and move on.......theres an amazing world, and people out there...just waiting for you.

Sending hugs.

Pages