I Give Up...I Quit

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
I Give Up...I Quit
6
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 3:14pm
After almost 2 years,I told him it was over this morning, I don't quite know how I will make it through. We work together so there is no way that I can get around not seeing him. I can't handle one day being so happy and the next just the opposite. I love him so much and always will but I can't handle this feeling any longer.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 3:19pm
I understand what you are going through. My A and I work together too. How did yours take it? Why did you decide to end it? Had you ever talked about a future together?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 3:56pm
I finally realized that he will never be with me, he is M with 2 children. Yes, we had discussed a future together several times, I am single (divorced for 2 years) He has grown away from me in the past few months and won't communicate with me, I have no idea what is going on inside his head. One day he will tell he loves me the next he won't even speak to me. I'm so confused and so sad, I feel sometimes that I can't make it without him. Then I came in to work this morning, he was in non-speaking mode and I just couldn't take it any longer. I confronted him and told him we had to talk and then proceeded to tell him that I was so tired of him treating me the way he has and I needed out. He walked away and hasn't spoken to me since.

One more thing, he left her last week and is already back home, it didn't last a week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 4:02pm
I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to go through that. My A and I work together too and he has told me that he is very unhappy that my situation has not changed and his has. However, I don't play those up and down games with him. It sounds like your MM doesn't really know what he wants. Give him some time. Most importantly, give yourself time to heal. I would highly suggest that you stay busy, find something positive to do when you feel the worst. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 6:06pm
Bump....for Rain
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 6:13pm
I'm so sorry that it ended this way for you. My MM and I also work together, and we've had our hard times. MM is married with children, and I'm also married with a DD, and a baby on the way. MM and I have talked about our R and where it's headed, and both of us agree that at the moment staying with our spouses is probably the best. I know that MM's W would be a complete b**** if they divorced, so, unfortunatly any type of actual R at the moment is not possible. So we're stuck for now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 7:55pm
rjh

I'm sorry you are hurting so much right now. I know how you feel. But I must share with you that I think you did the right thing. I think your MM has some serious issues he needs to fix. He does not seem ready, whether it is immaturity or an inability to handle the stress of your A, to be in a caring and loving R with you. It sounds like he cared about you deeply but still his inability to communicate and treat you respectfully was causing you pain. This was not a healthy R to be in. Take the fact that your R was an A out of the equation, and see that you deserve nothing but the best another person can offer. Everyone messes up in R from time to time but what is important is how they deal with fixing what they have done to hurt you. This man did not have your best interests at heart....if he did you would see the concern in his eyes, and it should have killed him inside to see you hurting. This is what true love is all about.

Take the time you need to heal. Cry a LOT. Get angry. Forgive him for hurting you and then move on. You have a whole wonderful life ahead of you. If there's one thing you can always count on, it is that the sun will always come out after the rains are over and you WILL live to laugh again. Remember to never rely on a man to make you happy, you can find happiness within yourself. It IS possible. And someday when you least expect it, there he will be...your knight on the big white horse.

I hope I have helped in some small way.

Hugs,

Brin