I GOT BUSTED BY H- AWFUL DAY
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| Tue, 04-20-2004 - 11:23am |
Last night- I forgot to turn my email off on my home pc(I can dial into my work email from home) and went to a meeting. H came home, looked at pc and I had it opened up to an email that I sent a few days ago expressing how I feel.
Well, this morning- H confronted me. Nicely that is and now wants to go to marriage counseling. I said yes, but the sad thing is that I don't love him so for me I am just going through steps for him. I have no guilt and still want MM. H said he does not care about OM (and I REALLY lied to H telling him I don't have feelings for this man)and just wants us to be best friends again. I am not telling MM what happened as this will drive him away and I am not ready to do that yet...
As you can imagine my head is POUNDING today... what a day...
Oh and by the way- I MISS MM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

I am so, so, sorry...I think that's everybody's nightmare...I'm glad your H is being civilized about it. I think you're very much right to say nothing to OM yet, he doesn't understand the workings of your marriage the way you do...and it's not exactly an affair, with no sex yet, right? It's a compromising situation, but still...give things time to settle down.
I guess the best thing you can do at this point is be as good as you can to H, this is probably heartbreaking for him. You sound like a gentle and an honest woman...
In my case, I'm VERY afraid of being caught because my H would be miserable. As would OMM's W, who seems very nice. OMM and I work very hard to protect our spouses from hurt. But I know accidents happen, like yours...In my case, it's a bit different because my H has had a couple of affairs. I learned alot from that, the key lesson being, it wasn't really about me. It was about things he needed that our marriage couldn't provide. Nobody can be all things to everybody. That's why the idea of faithful lifelong marriages just doesn't work that well in practice. Very nice people are sometimes not faithful. But they can still be good to each other. I can honestly say, I really did forgive my H, back when he had his affairs. He treated me very kindly through it all and I respect him for it and we do still love each other. It can feel like the end of the world at the time. And it's more confusing when you don't love your H. But if you are gentle with him and honest I think you will both be ok...
Hugs!!!!!