I hate the holidays

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2003
I hate the holidays
11
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 2:11am
Just wanted to say that. These are the times when you should be together and that's impossible. :(

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Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 2:23am
i understand.

(hugs) to us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 6:46am
I am going through all my firsts with MM as we have only been together for three months...so this will be my first holiday with/without him...I have been worrying about the holidays for a while now and I am not looking forward to being without him!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 10:58am
Uh Yah...couldn't say any better than that. No gifts, no dinners, drinks, family with each other.

And you sit and wonder what they are going to be doing.

Peace to you all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 11:15am
omg... that's exactly why I just popped in!! I too am getting really sick of the holidays, and they're not even here yet! I was just talking to MM yesterday about meeting the day after thanksgiving for a few hours, we were both going to use the excuse that we were shopping. well anyway, just found out from MM this morning that his W is now thinking about going with him!! gee, thanks for messing up my plans! lol... just kidding. this will give me more time to focus on H and DS... and perhaps do a little shopping of my own! MM and I are trying to meet up with each other in the beginning of Dec... god, it's been a month since we've made love to each other! I miss him so much.... :( and of course, he is missing me dearly as well.

Hang on sweetie, you're not alone! Sending you hugs...

Complicated

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 2:19pm
Not alone in spirit of course. But when the sun rises on Thanksgiving or Christmas day, there's no other way to describe it but a-l-o-n-e. That's the trouble with these 'relationships'. I'm in year number 2 of the holidays without MM or anyone else for that matter after my husband left when finding about my relationship with MM. MM has the whole family gig going on and of course I get left in the cold. It hurts so much I just think I'm going to go crazy. Worse yet, his family has sort of become mine since my family is 500 miles from me. So I get the invites to his gatherings with his kids and W. So my option is to stay home and mope and try like heck to figure out how to make turkey for one, or spend the day watching his family hug all over each other and tell happy-go-lucky stories of years gone by. Neither is looking too appealing right now. MM never understands. Or if he does, he never expresses it to me. He views it as something he has to do and that's that.

I don't make plans for a trip home since I think if I do, I'll perhaps miss out on valuable time with MM. But for that I just have to wait and see and hope the Ks and W don't come up wanting or needing him first. More often than not, I think he's the stupid one. Who am I kidding???

For me it'll be a (big) bottle of wine and maybe a benadryl or two. Sleep the day away cause normal everyday days are hard enough without the calendar telling me it should be something special.

Hugs and warm thoughts to all--we're the ones who deserve it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 7:18pm
You hit the nail on the head. It totally SUCKS!!! I have my siblings and my child, but I want him too. He's doing the family thing also. I have the whole image implanted in my head because I've been to hoildays with them wayyy before we ever became involved so I already know also how it is. Holidays are supposed to be happy, supposed to be something to look forward too, but how can you when the man you love and want and need is doing the hoilday thing with the "first family".

Every time I think about it I want to cry. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. This is not my first year doing this with him, but still, it hurts as heck as if it were.


It sucks, :(!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 10:01pm
I have been seeing my MM for 12 yrs. and believe me, every year is harder than the last at this time of year. We work together and he usually travels with his W and kids to see his family for the holidays then they take a skiing trip.

Before he leaves, he takes me out for a fancy dinner and we stay the night and a very nice hotel on the lake, it's all decorated really beautiful, but for me it is a very bittersweet time. I know how many lonely nights ahead i have. He just got back from a 2 week hunting trip and now in a couple weeks he'll be leaving for vacation. What was once my most favorite time of year has turned into my most dreaded time. Nothing hurts more believe me. I am counting on this board to keep me company this year...we can all get thru it together.

I do have a bright side, he called me the night before he left for his hunting trip, he called me on his cell phone the first minute he got a signal for it to work from the mountain he was on while he was elk hunting (!) and he took me out to dinner and we went to a motel the next day after he got back, so I think I was missed too!!!!

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY MM :-)

Hugs to all and see you soon for the holidays! Your all invited to my place, right here, only requirement is you have to bring your own bottle!

your cyber pal

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 10:04pm
Yup, me too. Not sure what I'll be doing thanksgiving...good thing it's a weekday. Hehe!

Work, at least that'll keep me busy and my mind of things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 11:20pm
My MM doesn't even sleep with his W during the holidays...why? Because the home was wrecked long before I came into the picture sweetie. Hmmm...you think that might be why my MM ever noticed i existed?

My MM W should thank me, I'm probably what helped hold the "marriage" together while he waits for the kids to become adults! What's fake is his having to act happy in front of the kids when he is home!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 11:36pm
This is my first holiday season with my MM. So far it is turning out to be harder than I thought it would be. I think its only natural to want to spend special days like this with the person that you love. This is also my first A so if anyone has any advice for me it would be greatly appreciated.

 Seeburg    

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