I have a crush...
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I have a crush...
| Wed, 04-01-2009 - 10:00am |
Things have been pretty rocky in my marriage for about a year now. It's to the point that my husband and are constantly arguing, I feel like we keep having the same fights over and over again. I've suggested marriage counseling but he refuses and lately I've been bringing up the subject of divorce but he refuses to discuss it. I feel like he's in complete denial and when we are able to talk about it he manages to blame everything on me. We don't spend much time together and when we do it feels forced and tense, like we'd both rather be somewhere else. I almost keep hoping he will have an affair so that way I'll have an excuse to leave.
I started to realize about three months ago that I was having feelings for someone else. I've known him for about six months and in the beginning I thought he was a nice person and attractive but didn't give it a lot of thought. Over time I've developed feelings for him and it's to the point now where if I have to go longer than a couple of weeks without seeing him I become anxious and depressed. The problem is he is my doctor. So basically this can't happen, career wise for him anyway.
I don't even know how he feels about me, but there have been moments where I have thought the feelings might be mutual. He is a nice person, so maybe I have misread things, I don't really know. Even if he does I know he will never initiate anything because he knows I'm married and, well, he's my doctor. Huge ethical issue with that. I'm afraid to do anything about this for fear of not only rejection but that he may longer have me as a patient. I've thought about dropping hints that things are going badly in my marriage to see what his reaction is but I don't even know how to bring it up.
I realize that this is a crush, but I love the way I feel when I'm around him. I look forward to seeing him weeks before I have an appointment, I have actually gone out and bought new clothes to wear. It's crazy, I know. But for the first time in a very long time I'm feeling happy and alive again. The thought of not getting to see him again makes me feel sick. I don't know what to do!!!
I started to realize about three months ago that I was having feelings for someone else. I've known him for about six months and in the beginning I thought he was a nice person and attractive but didn't give it a lot of thought. Over time I've developed feelings for him and it's to the point now where if I have to go longer than a couple of weeks without seeing him I become anxious and depressed. The problem is he is my doctor. So basically this can't happen, career wise for him anyway.
I don't even know how he feels about me, but there have been moments where I have thought the feelings might be mutual. He is a nice person, so maybe I have misread things, I don't really know. Even if he does I know he will never initiate anything because he knows I'm married and, well, he's my doctor. Huge ethical issue with that. I'm afraid to do anything about this for fear of not only rejection but that he may longer have me as a patient. I've thought about dropping hints that things are going badly in my marriage to see what his reaction is but I don't even know how to bring it up.
I realize that this is a crush, but I love the way I feel when I'm around him. I look forward to seeing him weeks before I have an appointment, I have actually gone out and bought new clothes to wear. It's crazy, I know. But for the first time in a very long time I'm feeling happy and alive again. The thought of not getting to see him again makes me feel sick. I don't know what to do!!!

Hi Kel. I hope I can help some. There are cases where someone is attracted to their doctor, minister, or someone in a similar situation. That is not uncommon at all. No good could come out of pursuing your doctor, for many reasons which you obviously know;) You did not state if the Dr is married?
As for your husband, maybe things are at a breaking point. I am not a fan of divorce but sometimes that is the answer. Life is too short to be miserable. I would divorce first before anything if you take that route. Your DH could ruin you if you have an A. Work on things there and then see what the future holds for you. After that is sorted out, you can see about dating someone else. You have to realize if you date that Dr, he would not be able to treat etc. Keep us posted.