I have good and bad moments

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2014
I have good and bad moments
2
Fri, 05-30-2014 - 12:29pm

Hello - wow - I am going through the anxiety of wanting to call him, wanting to scream and wanting to run.  I went to my therapist and he said that this man is a narcissist - omg - I looked it all up and yes he is!  He does not have the capacity to love and have feelings.  His MO is cheating, etc.  I feel empowered, but wish I didn't sound so pathetic and needy to him the last time we talked.  At the end if the day, he wil always act like the victim and say I was the crazy one.  It's been 24 hours since I tried texting him and it's a bit easier today.  Of course I am having revenge daydreams - which is normal...lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 06-02-2014 - 12:58pm

Daily LIFE is full of "good and bad moments"!  It takes a lot of pride in yourself and determination to keep yourself from doing what you NEED to do.  Pride in yourself, because you know you are better than this situation, and better than the person causing the situation.  Determination because you love yourself too much to allow a worthless person to mess up your life any longer.  When we find ourselves feeling worthless without another person, we have to keep telling ourselves that we are BETTER than this, and we deserve better than this.  It's not like you're fooled by this man, you KNOW what he is, you know he's a user, and you know you deserve better in your life.  Just keep telling yourself that over and over and over......until the urge to connect passes.  Because you know very well, if you DO connect, you'll be unhappy with yourself for allowing it.  Keep STRONG, and keep busy with your REAL life...not a fantasy life that he never gave you!  This too shall pass!

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Mon, 06-02-2014 - 2:04pm

As gets repeated often about these situations, time is mostly what you need to get over this. Unfortunately we can't make time. So spend it wisely, occupying your mind with as many other things as you can so as to not devote anymore braincells to him. There really is no quick fix. You will be fine, you will get over it eventually, you will move on.