I Have A Question For The Men

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
I Have A Question For The Men
2
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:49pm


Hi, Everyone,

I was curious if this is true. I was recently told by a therapist friend that one of the differences between men and women is that as far as feelings and emotions are concerned, men know how to compartmentalize, where women want their feelings validated right away. Is that true? If it is, then is that why women seem to obsess more when it comes to situations such as A's? I would LOVE to know how to do that so I wouldn't obsess as much. It would also explain that men actually do care (the good ones out there)and it's just they think and feel in a different way than woman.

MidnightBlue

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 8:09pm
midnightblue,

A very similar thread to this one was on the board a few weeks ago. You might find some other posts related there.

I don't know. Do men compartmentalize? I went looking on the net, and the best definition I can find is something about separation of things, i.e. keeping my home life separate from work, sex from love, etc. When I think about the men I know, the majority keep our friendship separate from certain other parts of their lives. But then again, so do most women I know.

I would suggest that women who are obsessing do so in part because of the inherant lack of power most of them hold in the relationship. More often than not, men are the ones who are holding the cards about "will we or won't we." As men, I think we absolutely obsess to a large extent if we feel out of control in regards to the women in our lives. It's just that more often than not, the woman is left sitting and waiting for a decision which means they get the role of obsessing. I'm not sure that has anything to do with compartmentalizing.

rain

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 8:23pm


rain,

I know of the thread last week but I guess I missed a few regarding my question. I do believe you are correct. For me it depends on what is going on around me for me to start obsessing. It's when I am feeling very fearful or insecure that side of me comes out. I just wish I could separate as well as men do.

MidnightBlue