I have urges frequently, please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2003
I have urges frequently, please help
3
Tue, 10-28-2003 - 10:58pm
i have been married for 5 years. The first 3 were great but then I started to have feelings for a guy friend. I couldn't "cheat"on my husband so I left him. That fell through and I came back. Now there is this guy who has let me know he's interested and I really want him too. He treats me like a queen. I want to but I know it's "wrong". Is it really wrong if it's only sex? I don't plan on building a life with him. Could someone please offer a word of advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Wed, 10-29-2003 - 8:02am
No one can answer what's right or wrong for you, northernstar. You have to look deep within yourself and find the answer, and that's going to take time. There's no reason you have to go from thinking about an affair to a full-blown affair overnight. Take time to get to know the guy and make sure you're really sure before you take that step. And remember, you may enter into it with the intention of it being just about sex but what happens if one or the other of you (or both) develops feelings for the other person. Inevitably that's going to happen. Also, what happens if you get caught? Are you willing to take that risk?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Wed, 10-29-2003 - 8:05am
I can give you a little advice from the perspective of someone who may be ending her A soon…although it’s probably not necessarily what you would want to hear right now!!

All I can say is it will probably end up being not only about sex. I thought I could have an A that way (and I think if you read back through a lot of the posts you will find that most women do get emotionally involved whether they plan to or not). So be careful. It’s really hard, and the ups and downs can be SO intense.

I don’t think it’s “wrong,” or maybe it is -- but who am I to say?!! I’m just warning that as much as we try to keep it ONLY sex, it rarely seems to work out that way.

Good luck to you!

Charlotte

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2003
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 2:37am
the truth is that i've known this guy for a couple of years and i went in with feelings. i don't know if he feels the same but i know i'll get hurt and can't help but be drawn to him. i will think hard on the fact that i will get hurt. i kinda know that i will but i've also decided that it is something i have to do to get him outta my system. thanks for the input everyone.