I haven't done it yet, need advice..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
I haven't done it yet, need advice..
1
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 6:42pm
I don’t know what to do. I just got married four months ago. For a full year, May pretty much marks the date, me and my then fiancé’ were arguing all the time, because of another women, he never cheated on me, but I felt that he was more attracted to her and that she was probably out of his league and she didn’t want to have an affair with him, so he stayed with me. This girl of course was a co-worker and she got fired about a month before the wedding. Problem solved right, wrong.

My grandfather died a month ago and when he passed away I thought a lot about myself and love and loving other people and all of the sudden “the one that got away” came back into my mind. He is very successful owns his own business and I am thinking that I want to go and see him. But, I know that if he asked me to I would do anything for him.

The whole thing with this other guy is that he’s the greatest, I’ve meet him 9 years ago, he approached me and I was to stupid to go after him. Four years ago I got knocked up and I wrote him a letter telling him how sorry I was that I never got to know him as a friend. I’m realizing that for the past 20 years (childhood issues) that I didn’t love myself and I always thought that I didn’t deserve the greatest and all of the sudden I am starting to love myself and I’m faced with the sad realization that I settled for less and it’s nagging at me and now I want more, now I want closure with this beautiful man that I think was made for me.

I don’t know what to do, should I pursue this or just keep living my shallow existence?

Please, any advice would be wonderful.

Raven.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 8:27pm
Have you talked to this other guy recently, or are you just thinking about him? Were you in a reltaionship woth him 'way back when'? What caused you to split up?

I am in the same kind of situation- my OM is a guy I was dating a long time ago when I met my husband. When I got pregnant I decided to 'choose' my husband, but never forgot the om and we've been in an on-again off-again relationship for several years.

Do you know the song "What if it's you" by Reba? That is my relaitonship- and from the sounds of it- yours!

Only you know what's in your heart, but If your not happy or complete with your husband then maybe you SHOULD look up the other guy again!

JMO

~R