I Just Can't Stand Her

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
I Just Can't Stand Her
6
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 10:16pm
Well i posted a while back about doing a craft fair with XAP's wife...and wondering what her motive was behind her asking me to do this with her. I dont think there was any malicious motive on her part as far as i am concerned. She tried to be pleasant, but thru her smokescreen of fake friendliness, i saw and heard plenty of what's she's all about. And i can't stand her!!! Never before has someone gotten under my skin the way she does. Never before have i seen any of my friends, married or not, treat their spouse/S.O. with such a lack of respect. I was hoping he wouldn't come down there to the fair and he didn't, but i think if he had gone, i might not have heard the sarcastic remarks about him she was making..i would have heard her saying them to him instead. But no, she sat there complaining about him to me, and how when she's mad at him she starts throwing things, sometimes at him. Her and their son sat there dissing him like he is some kind of object to be dealt with.... I asked him later when i saw him that nite about it and he admitted that yes, she does that, and a whole bunch of things i never knew..(jeez no wonder the guy is on eggshells) I told him its not right to be treated that way, and i think its terrible and what hurts me as well, is that i hear the same type of crap at home too. I just never thought he heard/took crap like that either. Maybe i just had a fantasy about his married life that he has and i'm finding out in reality its def not the joy ride i thought he was on. She even had the nerve to text me this morning complaining about him some more.
When i see someone being mistreated, it makes me very angry. I know the signs of spousal abuse, albeit verbal/emotional/psychological..i experience them too, and i am getting out of my marriage, for that very reason. I have just never dealt with any friend of mine who is a man and having to deal with a wife who is like that. Domestic violence sure can be a hidden thing. And some people hide it very well.
So needless to say, i wont be accepting any more invites to craft fairs from her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 9:21am

I smell a rat. I think she is baiting you because she knows something is up with you and her H. This just sounds to far fetched. Why would she pick you to b*tch about her H? I think you are being too naive in the situation. I say stay away from her. He's a big boy and can take care of himself. Things aren't always as they seem from the outside. I think she is fishing because she is suspicious.


Don't get caught up in their drama.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2008
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 10:17am

I would have to agree with the previous poster.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2009
Tue, 11-24-2009 - 10:39pm
You know that saying....keep your friends close but your enemies closer....I'd watch out for her. Don't set yourself up in a game...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2009
Wed, 11-25-2009 - 7:11am

lets be real...its because she is your AP's wife....that is what it REALLY is about..you have been looking for ANYTHING that would justify what you are doing. You could have caught her off on a bad day...he could really be the jerk that she thinks he is.......you have no clue!


you have NO IDEA ..despite what you think, their situation at home...he could be "abusive" to her. She may be right to say those things......

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
Wed, 11-25-2009 - 10:01am

I must agree with Myrasfriend here.

Edwina
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 11-25-2009 - 12:49pm
Actually i have a very realistic view of what is going on with him and her, esp after the talk we had yesterday, and being as i have known them for 10yrs. And i do have a clue as to the kind of friend he has been to me in the past before we became closer friends. It 's just her behavior is so bizarre to me, totally unlike any other married friends of mine...it's bizarre to them too.. And i refuse to stick my head in the sand when i see abuse happening. Esp to one of my friends..is that what kind of friend you are? I was the only friend who has actually said something to him.. he looked so relieved when i said i knew what was going on...i would have thought someone else(in our group) would have something by now, but i'm realizing he is closer to me than the rest of our group... You have no idea what kind of friendship we all have.. we are a close knit group of friends, ... and she can say what she wants, but that doesn't excuse her from being verbally abusive in public to him. He is the type of guy who wouldn't hurt a fly...he'd let it live.
and No, i am not involved with him like i was. I can't, i'm too busy taking care of me. But i can be a friend to people and listen when they need me.