I just felt this was necessary

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I just felt this was necessary
2
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 10:24am
in my R, was to protect myself. I didn't like it at all, while MM, did nothing when his W was on a rampage. I know most of you don't feel like this could happen in your EMA.....that's good. But, I found out the hard way, that my MM is a coward. There was a time when I would have given my life for ( I almost did when my ex-H found out about our relationship), now I know to protect myself, and think about me first.

Sometimes (notice I did say "sometimes") people change when their backs are against the wall. I didn't like the fact that MM, lead his W to think it was me "chasing" him. That he had tried to end things with me (which was a lie), and I wouldn't take no for a answer. If he was any kind of a man, he would have accepted the fact that we had gotten caught. Tried to defuse the situation without lying, or making me out to be some deranged, mad woman. MM, tried to place all the blame on me.

Next time things will be different. You can be ever so careful, and 1 slip and your little secret is out in the open. MM, and I had been together for 6 years before 1 slip and the cat was out of the bag.

Always protect yourself if you can. Don't depend on someone else for your protection.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 10:44am
I totally understand your frustration. I had a situation where all of the blame was pinned upon me, and despite that it was KNOWN that all of the blame should NOT rest with me, it came to rest with me anyway. Why? Because it was easier for everyone that way. It just was. It sucked for me. But it created a dividing line. And in truth, what the heck difference does it make who believes what when you know the truth?

Someday you will not care what the W thinks really happened. Someday she will know that it doesn't matter what her H told her - that the truth might be completely different. When the smoke clears, and I mean really clears, when emotions are no longer high, none of this will matter.

The best way to protect yourself is to not get into any extramarital affair at all, but everyone knows that. I hope that the future finds you happier and more self-protected.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 12:02pm


well, as much as I think he loves me, I have to worry about protecting my own butt and covering my own tracks because he is doing the same. he has promised me with all he has that he is going to keep me out of this. I hope that he sticks to his word but I'm not feeling so optimistic after reading what a bunch of other ladies in similar situations have went through... I'm just taking my nerve pills and hoping that I can get through this without any major catastrophes.