I just need to talk/cry

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
I just need to talk/cry
6
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 7:32pm

Hello All ~


Here's my story: I having been having an A with a married man. We started out as friends never expecting it to get to this point. He and I have so many common interests, it is uncanny the many things that we can sit for hours talking about. We have similar tastes in music, food...etc. I

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 10:38pm

>>>"I want to be selfish and have him all for my own.... someone help me, what can be my next step?"<<<

You have NO next step or any other step. He's a MM and unless or until he decides to make you number one, your hands are tied and he has all the power. If you keep accepting just being the OW then that's how you have taught him how to treat you.

From my point of view, he's got it good in both worlds and have NO reason to change anything. You on the other hand will have to decide to either just be happy with things as they are now or take yourself out of the equation.

Taking myself out of the equation would be MY next step if I were in your shoes.



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"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 10:42pm

Imo, I don't see any


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Wed, 12-24-2008 - 8:54am
you know what clarity..i totally agree with what you say

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Wed, 12-24-2008 - 12:46pm
I agree with you, right or wrong, I'm too caught up in this emotionally to let go and I don't want to let go. I guess being that I'm married and have someone it makes it easier. I mean, the fact that I have a life with husband and I'm not just sitting on the wayside waiting for AP to decide when we can spend time together makes it easier, ya know? My AP tells me he just hates knowing that husband and I spend a lot of time together doing things ( we really do have a lot in common) and he wishes it was him with me to which I reply, well, you had your chance, bud, and you blew it ( going back to his wife) and he agrees and says he hates himself for blowing it with us when we were actually living together. He just needs to figure out how to end his marriage without the guilt...the love is already gone, so that's half the battle I guess. It's everything else that makes it complicated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2008
Fri, 12-26-2008 - 10:14am

"He is at my house every weekday morning at 5am, leaves for work at 6:30am to return to my house later evening at 6:30pm to leave sometime around 1am. On the weekends, we see each other on Friday or Saturday. Sometimes even Sunday afternoon."

All I can say is, Wow. How can his W not know he is up to something? Sounds to me like he wants to get busted.

jana

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
Sat, 12-27-2008 - 11:29am
Completely agree jana, of course she must know.
In this case the only thing to do is wait for the explotion.... it's not a question of IF but WHEN.


Edwina