I know he is bored but he denies it

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2000
I know he is bored but he denies it
6
Sun, 06-20-2010 - 7:30pm

We have been together for many years some good some bad times..... but the last year or so he seems SO bored with me, with us, with our relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Sun, 06-20-2010 - 7:35pm

Hi Penny


What gives you the impression he is bored with you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2000
Sun, 06-20-2010 - 8:16pm

We have been friends for 9 years but sleeping together 7.... our conversations, contact and get togethers are becoming fewer and further between.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
Sun, 06-20-2010 - 8:51pm

You know Penny, your relationship with him has lasted longer than many marriages.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Sun, 06-20-2010 - 9:59pm

Hard to say whether he's bored, or perhaps gotten complacent over the years.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2000
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 7:55am

Thanks for helping you guys... I agree that backing off makes him or any man more interested and I do try to do that as much as possible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 8:48am

You've gotten great advice here from Bird and Another, Penny. You haven't said whether you are also married.

I am also in a long term A and in many ways it is like a marriage. There aren't the butterflies anymore, everything is pretty even and steady - that's what happens in any long term R. If you love him, I would NOT end the R just because you "think" he finds you boring. Maybe you think a relationship has to have the butterflies and the super excitement and the highs and lows to be "interesting", and you think, since that is all gone, that he finds you "boring", when really, he might be quite content.

Are you sure you're not the one who finds him boring? Maybe the fact that it's harder to "get him going" so to speak makes it all harder for you too. It very well can be an age thing and he might benefit by asking his doctor about the many medications available for that. Keep in mind that when they have difficulty in that area - it's a mechanics thing, not a desire thing - you might turn him on every bit as much, but the 'ole blood flow just doesn't work as well LOL.

By the way - welcome to MAS! Hope to see you around posting more. :-)

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