I LOVE IT! The TABLES HAVE TURNED!
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| Wed, 09-16-2009 - 12:47am |
For one, I would like to thank ivillage for having this board for us. I also like to say thank you to everyone on here for giving me your advice and taking the time to respond and help others. Even though from an outsider looking in, they may think we're "bad" people for having affairs.. I have to say that that is not true. A lot of you ladies are so wonderful, kind hearted people that take the time out of your busy day to help others in need! I wouldn't have done it without you and THANK YOU for understanding and not being judgemental in my decisions...
I read my old posts, and I can't believe how stupid I was back then...and sometimes I still am. And how harsh I was to some of you when all you were trying to do was help me see the truth... I feel like I had an awakening and a "duh!" moment! lol I'm so sorry for lashing out to some of you!!! I was too heavily involved in the "fog" to realize what the hell I was doing! lol
Secondly, me and this new (single) guy have been hitting it off very well! ;) I want to say to those SW, and MW this: I had lost complete hope in the male species! I was down on my luck - from being in such a manipulative and emotionally abusive relationship with AP, I didn't know what it felt like to be in a good, heatlhy relationship OR to be treated like a princess. So I have to say that when you are in a bad relationship and never had a good one, you think that is all there is, you think this is how relationships are supposed to be, or this is how *all* guys are... well not true!
When you go from a bad relationship to a good one - you see the difference crystal clear!!! And I'm not saying I'm in a "relationship" (although I hope its getting there! ;) ) but now I see what I had been missing out on while I was focusing on AP!
So my point is... for those that are looking to end their affair - or for those that are not getting there needs met - I understand. I was that same person a month ago! I felt that scraps of attention AP was giving me was enough. I thought I was "happy" with what little attention he gave me. BUT something awaken in me and now that I see how it is to be treated well I realize that I was settling for NOTHING. That I DESERVE more and there are BETTER things out there!
YOU all can do it. Don't settle for less than what you deserve. These AP's don't deserve us, they don't deserve what we give them...
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So I think that I am officially out of the fog ladies... I'm talking to AP but its merely for entertainment! I am so indifferent to him now and DISGUSTED with him. This new guy I have been seeing is FANTASTIC and I am already smitten with him... I'm amazed how well he treats me and respects me. He's such a nice guy - the total package and I am truly blessed to have found him at such a difficult time in my life.
I keep talking to AP because I am letting him go slowly... and I have been blowing him off when he asks to meet me! I don't stay on the phone with him long, and I sometimes (ok a lot of times) miss his phone calls on purpose.
It's so flippin' hilarious when I talk to him because I am so indifferent that now I talk to him the way he used to talk to me! He asked me, "You don't like me anymore huh" and I said to him what he's ALWAYS been saying to me "What makes you think that?" and he's like, "Just because you blow me off u don't want to talk to me" and I'm like thats not true lol haha i say it with such indifference i love it! Then he's like "you did that last night" and I'm like "That's in the past don't bring up stuff from the past" what he's always said to me when I brought up the lies!
LMAO!!!!!! I LOVE IT! He is trying so hard now but guess what? ITS A LITTLE TOO LATE!! And I truly love how I don't care anymore! I am so infatuated with this new guy that I can't believe what I ever saw in AP! I mean ladies this new guy is PURFECT and he treats me so well... he's adorable!!
I wish that you all could see me now... And that you all who have tried to end an affair or that are stuck in an unhappy situation know that there is light at the end of the tunnel!
I wish to God that this new guy is serious about me like he says and things work out.
Edited to say: Unlike him, it does hurt watching him like this. There is a part of me that mourns the person I thought he was but that is long ago and I am ready to move forward.
Edited 9/16/2009 12:53 am ET by lostintransition

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Lost i am so so SO happy for you!! (and a little jealous!) Congrats girl!
I have every available appendage crossed for you this new guy stays in your future.
As for XAP, i know you feel a little guilty for messing with him, but you also deserve to feel the power again you lost when he dragged you down. Have your fun mainly knowing that he is now the pathetic one and he will never have you again. Karma is a bi*ch.
Wishing you all the very best and dont forget to let us know what happens with new guy!
SB
Hi SB! Thanks sweetie!! =)
Please don't feel jealous- I haven't gotten him railed in yet, just hooked. lol ;)
There is a guy out there for you too! Maybe its the one you have now or he's out there waiting for you.
Thank you for your advice on AP...its exactly what I had in mind too... karma is a b*tch and I waited too long to reach the point of indifference
IJAF, Its the principal of the thing. He was such a dirtbag for so long. Lost isnt being vindictive, she isnt leading him on (as HE did) she is not making innuendos (like HE did) she is merely throwing back the casual snappy responses he used when he was leading her around by the nose. I wouldnt say revenge- i like the word payback. Its VERY underrated but goes a long way to restore self worth and feel back in the drivers seat. More power to you LIT!
SB
Hi there LIT -
Honey - you know how happy reading this update makes me - doing a serious So Cal happy dance over here!!
Lost..I knew you would get there. I never lost faith in you!
Once you know how great it is to be with a single guy, not looking over your shoulder, able to call him whenever, sleep with him all night...you just can't go back.
Hugs to you, you came out the other side!!
Itsjustafantasy-
Wow ! this is so great.I remember reading your older posts and you went through so much crap with your AP.wasnt he the one who said he wasnt married etc.
I also agree that let xAP be an ex and dont tell him about your new SM.
Good to know that you are feeling good :) ((( hugs )))
I want to be happy with you in your happy time too!
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