I NEED ADVICE BAD!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
I NEED ADVICE BAD!!
1
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 2:07pm
Today, I talked to my OM on the phone, now we havent seen each other in about a week and before that it was about a month, the reason being is because of his work schedule, he works like 6-2pm at one job then 3-11pm at the other and he works every other weekend, anyway the only time he ask me to come over his house recently is late night which is basically a bootie call!, I say something to him about it, and tell him you know it seems like the only time you want to see me is when you want some, and thats it, we never go anywhere or do anyhting and he tells me he dont have time, it because he work all the time and the times when he isnt working he needs to run all of his errands and clean up, also we was supposed to have seen each other last night but we didnt, he never called. ok so back to the phone call,first he started off by saying that he slept all day long, he went to sleep at 8pm and didnt wake up until 7am, then he said he went to the movies early yesterday, I asked with whom, because mind you im supposed to be the only one(yeah right)he said with yvette (I dont know her) someone he's really cool with, him her and her kids and some other people went, so all I said was oh that's nice. I was furious I just told him I would call him back, oh he also told me he just came from breakfast this morning, I didnt even bother to ask any questions after that,I dont know how to take this or what I should do, Anyone has any advice, because he will be calling me tomorrow or tuesday asking can I come over that night, im pretty sure of it. Im just so really hurt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 12:31am
Kis,

I can understand your feelings of being out of control of your relationship right now with your OM. I gather that you are the one married, although you never specified.

With him working two jobs he has to feel exhausted, and sure when he has his off time he needs to run errands, and get his house work done. (granted that there isn't a wife) If you are the OW in this relationship is it just sexual, or is it also an emotional EMA? Have you both talked about the relationship, and the boundaries of it?

We all need friends and space. You also have to be able to talk to him about your feelings without sounding like a "jealous" wife. That will for sure push you right out of his life. Although, you don't want to bring home an STD to your DH either--- so get it straight from the OM who is sleeping with who...

How long have you two been seeing each other?

jen