I need advise

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
I need advise
1
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 5:55pm
I am on my second marriage, and very unhappy. I never thought I could ever cheat because my first husband ran around on me so much, but I have been having an affair with a man I work with for almost a year now. He has never once complained to me about his wife, and I have never asked him to leave her. However, he knows my situation.

About two weeks ago, he told me that he loved me, I don't know why he just told me out of the blue and when I asked him what brought this on, he told me that he had been for a long time. He knows that I love with him I told him probably three months ago. The bad part is his wife is pregnant and I feel like a complete loser. But at the same time I have never loved anyone the way I love him, and I do not intend on giving him up. I am doing exactly what was done to me by my first husband.

My problem is, the past week, only a week after telling me he loves me, he's pulling away, I act like nothing is bothering me around him, but I can tell that something is different. What do I do? I am so afraid of losing him, I don't know what to say, or do. Can someone help me?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: raingirl000
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 8:28pm
Honey I feel for you. Going into an affair isn't going to solve your problem of loneliness and feeling lost.

A woman can feel whole without the aide of a man. If you look for a man to fill the void in your life, you will not find it. It lies within yourself. A fulfilling life comes from being complete in yourself.

Find something to do that is fulfilling. Hobbies are a great source of happiness and I've found people who are creative are very absorbed. Life to them is a neverending adventure. Another way is to volunteer in the community. It is very fulfilling to make others happy.

You are now as unhappy with your MM as you are with your husband. If you expect more from your MM, you will be hopelessly disappointed.