I need advise
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I need advise
| Tue, 02-03-2004 - 12:16pm |
I have been having an on again/off again affair for the past 3 years. It started because I found out my husband of 2 years was having and affair when I was pregnant with our second child. I met this OM a couple months after I found out about my husband's affair. The OM was there to pick up the pieces and make me feel wanted, when my husband had not. The OM had a girlfriend at the time but they were on the rocks. We had no sexual contact for almost a year, but there was so much passion it was difficult not to. We worked in the same department and eventually he found another job outside the company. He broke up with his girlfriend roughly around the time I moved out of my house because of problems in my own relationship. I thought, what perfect timing. I called him, to find out he met another girl that he fell in love with. I was hurt deeply by that. He ended up marrying this girl and had a baby with her. The bad thing is, during her pregnancy we still carried on a romantic relationship. After our last encounter on New Year's eve, I emailed him and told him that I was sorry for what happend between us and that I could no longer maintain a friendship with him. I haven't heard from him since then, but I have been tempted to call him or email him. I am trying my hardest to make things work with my husband and don't want any outside influences to ruin it. I started working at home to get away from being around the OM to make things easier. Does anyone have advise on how to get him out of my head and move on with my life? I applaud my current efforts, but the temptation is still there.

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Unfortantly there are no quick easy answers but you are doing the right thing in going NO CONTACT, just keep yourself busy and concentrate on your own family as much as you can and remember to be good to yourself.
Try not to forget that you worth more then to be someones bit on the side, you have lots to offer and deserve first class treatment from the man in your life and from yourself.
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hi gumblebum and welcome to the board!!
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
The friendship route after an A seldom seems to work and often just leads back to the A again, the most evective thing is the NC route.
If you have not done so you may want to consider removeing MM from your address book and blocking any e-mails from him, if you chat remove him from your buddy list and consider changing your cell number to unlisted.
You will learn in time that the A was not about OM but more about how he made you feel about yourself , you can get this from your relationship with your husband if you both are commited to getting there together.
DO THINGS THAT WILL MAKE IT HARD TO CONTACT HIM LEAVE TURN THE PC OF LEAVE THE PHONE HOME whatever it takes, visit the endings board he at ivillage
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CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board
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Edited 6/15/2009 1:03 pm ET by opal_fire
I may be repeating myself here but it's not the MM that is so hard to get over it's the strong emotional Highs that you get from the affair that keep you going back, like smoking the cravings come back from time to time and the longer you resist them the less often the come, like smoking craveings the A craveings only last for a brief period each time and if you can delay responding to them or vent them elseware they pass.
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