I need advise
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I need advise
| Tue, 02-03-2004 - 12:16pm |
I have been having an on again/off again affair for the past 3 years. It started because I found out my husband of 2 years was having and affair when I was pregnant with our second child. I met this OM a couple months after I found out about my husband's affair. The OM was there to pick up the pieces and make me feel wanted, when my husband had not. The OM had a girlfriend at the time but they were on the rocks. We had no sexual contact for almost a year, but there was so much passion it was difficult not to. We worked in the same department and eventually he found another job outside the company. He broke up with his girlfriend roughly around the time I moved out of my house because of problems in my own relationship. I thought, what perfect timing. I called him, to find out he met another girl that he fell in love with. I was hurt deeply by that. He ended up marrying this girl and had a baby with her. The bad thing is, during her pregnancy we still carried on a romantic relationship. After our last encounter on New Year's eve, I emailed him and told him that I was sorry for what happend between us and that I could no longer maintain a friendship with him. I haven't heard from him since then, but I have been tempted to call him or email him. I am trying my hardest to make things work with my husband and don't want any outside influences to ruin it. I started working at home to get away from being around the OM to make things easier. Does anyone have advise on how to get him out of my head and move on with my life? I applaud my current efforts, but the temptation is still there.

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Men are such babies!! My 1st H had a girl all set up when I kicked him out. And it wasn't even the girl I caught him with! Alot of men can't stand being alone, but if this guy really loved you, why didn't he tell you he was going solo and get on track with you?
Because, it was an affair. And now you are left to pick up the pieces.
I really wish you could get to the anger stage. Just really think about how much he hurt you by finding this other woman and getting her pregnant. Which basically leaves you in the dust.
Its really hard I know, but you have to move on. And you say you are committed to making your M work. I say, think about the pain and anger he's left you, and try to forget about the sweet mushy times together. Because they don't amount to a hill of beans really!!~
This may sound harsh, but you have to harden your heart against him, and soften yourself to your H if that's what's right for you. And it sounds like you've made the decision, that's what direction you want to go in. Ignore the SOB. NC. Don't talk to him!! After 8 weeks or so, I'm sure you'll be in the anger stage (I went thru NC for that long and was just getting there, then got back with MM, but that's a whole nother story!!) Take Care.
Dusty
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