I need to grow a pair

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2009
I need to grow a pair
2
Thu, 12-03-2009 - 11:24am

I am married with two small children. My marriage has been dead for several years. We've been married for 11 and together for 14 years. He's a great guy, but the spark could not be more dead if he were a corpse. I was completely not looking for an affair, but every night I was wishing for my own death, for DH's death, for some way to get out of my life. I accidentally ran into a HS BF about 7 months ago and we've been hot and heavy ever since. He is divorced with small children of his own. I'm pretty sure that DH has found his own AP.

What I struggle with is how to leave DH and put my kids through a divorce? My kids did nothing to deserve their world being ripped apart.

AP says I cannot go back to wishing for my own death. Wants to marry me, yada yada yada. I'm definitely in love with AP. I also struggle with the knowledge that 10-15 years down the road with AP, I'll likely be in the same boat of wanting something new/different.

Thoughts, advice, anything on how to grow a pair and stand up for what I want?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2009
Thu, 12-03-2009 - 12:51pm

About 12 years ago I was in the same situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2009
Thu, 12-03-2009 - 3:16pm

Sounds like you're still married and still hating it. Hugs, I'm so sorry.

Ending the marriage definitely has to be for my own benefit and not for a man. Just struggling with hurting my kids.