I Need Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2010
I Need Help
3
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 9:48am

I hardly know where to begin.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2010
In reply to: alicat1373
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 9:14am
Doesn't anyone have some words of advice in this situation?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2010
In reply to: alicat1373
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 9:27am
I think we are both trying to put this behind us but I don't know what is going to happen when he comes in April.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
In reply to: alicat1373
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 11:47am

I'm sorry no one has answered you yet alicat. It seems this board is pretty slow lately but on the weekend it's even slower.

My first reaction to your post is to think that it's really too bad the physical part happened between you and your friend. From what I've read, he has a dysfunctional relationship with his mother and you were a sort of surrogate mother to him - taking care of him in a more motherly way than his own mother probably did. He's only 20 yrs. old - very immature and very hormonally driven. He probably felt a lot of affection for you and it translated to physical desire because, well, he's 20. If you could have stopped the physical R from happening it would have been better for both of you - he could have turned his affection back into a "son" type and you could have continued to help him in a motherly way.

Since the line has been crossed I don't know what advice to give. Maybe just to view everything realistically - you know there can't really be a future together. I think you should really try to turn away from anything physical and give him what he REALLY needs - the guidance and love that he was seeking to begin with. Keep in mind these words you said:

"...he has already had too much trauma in his short, young life. I really don't want to add to it."

If you really mean that, you won't continue with the physical part of your R, which could only add to the trauma of his young short life.

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