I Need Help pretty long post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2013
I Need Help pretty long post.
2
Sat, 07-05-2014 - 6:06pm

I have been a lurker on here for about a year. My MM and i have been in this for 8 months. I have been having a lot of issues at home my body so so forth and i told him about 3 weeks ago I needed a break because I was really falling for him. he was like he hopes we can still talk. We did and made plans to meet the following week. He was bogged down at work and I was insecure and said I dont think we can meet on friday. He replied that he is in his feelings and feels like I have yo yo him around. And he stop repling to text and phone calls. So I went crazy and kept texing him throughout that weekend. That Wednesday I left him a message that eventhough I dont approve on how he did it I am glad that he started the NC because I needed to find myself. Which I have. I had a lot of stuff going on. So I called him when I was ready and he said yeah we need to talk. He didnt call me back because he was "busy". but he texted me a picture saying that when we over think things get blown out of propotion. So I asked him is he done with me and he replied back not done. He couldnt see me because he had to go to visit his son on the fourth. I have been sending him texts like i use to of funny things and saying that he is awesome (he has insecurities) and how we should start over. I just dont know what to do. I know it will be easy for people to say just walk away but when you have so much in common with a person and this person makes you laugh its not that easy. Do I give him time? Do I stop texting? What to do? And he has been checking his AM profile. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sun, 07-06-2014 - 12:17am

I don't get all the alphabet stuff.  MM?  Married?  You have "issues at home".......your body so so?  What does that mean?  Issuea at home aren't solved by creating issues away from home.  They're solved by discussing them, and fixing them if possible.  You asked for a break, but he wants to still talk......so that is NOT a break!  He was busy at work and couldn't meet you, and you were insecure because you can't meet?  He feels you're playing with him......you wanted a break, but you still want to see him.  What kind of break is that, and he's right, you're playing with him.  You texted him, but he didn't reply because he started no contact....and you don't approve of how he did it?  How does one do it?  One stops contact, that's how.  Then you fixed your problems and wanted contact again......all this in a few days?  You're insecure, he's insecure......which is never going to work......Also, it's very easy to laugh with someone when you're not involved with the everyday stresses of life with him.  So much in common?  Two insecure people?  This will change nothing in your "real" life.  When you're done enjoying his company and laughing with him, you will still go home to the same problems.  Fix your home life.....and you won' t need him.  If it can't be fixed, then end the marriage and move on with your life. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2014
Mon, 07-07-2014 - 3:46pm

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