I need him more than he needs me!!!
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I need him more than he needs me!!!
| Fri, 04-16-2004 - 11:39am |
I've posted a message before and it helped me to see things differently so maybe this time it will help again. My A has been going on now for almost 4 years. I have decided and MM I'm involved with has decided we cannot give up at this time what we both have at home so we are stuck with what we have, or we give each other up. I'm definitally in LOVE with him, but still have alot of feelings for my H. My MM has recently decided though to have a major guilt trip which means he has put me to the side for now we were talking every day now its whenever he can call me. He has asked me not to call him at work or at home. Now I'm angry because I have no control at all. He has told me we will see each other like always once or twice a month, and I'm fine with that because neither one of us has much time to spare. I just resent this and really want to be a B***H to him because he figures I guess I should be happy to have this. I don't know how to tell MM I need more than this without making him feel like I'm that woman from Fatal Attraction. Because the more he acts like he doesn't need me the more frantic I become. I know I'm insecure about the way MM feels about me because I don't get positive reinforcement everyday and when you don't get that you start to have doubts about that other person. MM tells me he is getting along better with his W. and that drives me nuts to because than I think he won't need me at all but, still on the other hand I still hear from him and he still tells me he loves me and I know he confides in me before he does his W. about things. I'm so jealous I can't see straight, and I don't know why because I've met her, and shallow as it sounds she is sooooo ugly, on the inside and out. I suppose I'm just bitter because I want him and she's mean to him and I'm not and he still puts me to the side. O.K., I've rambled enough if there's anyone out there that can make me see this through and help me decide how I should be towards him, maybe to show him how it feels to be treated this way. Maybe it's because I am too available for MM. I'm am dri ving myself crazy. I hate it that I go on and on about stuff. Thanks to any advice!!!

I feel for you, I feel what you do now, let alone trying to
deal with these feelings for 4 years. I don't know how you
do it. This is driving me nuts already.
Like I said I feel for you. I never call him at home at all.
nor does he call me at home, we are both married, me 18years
and he 10years. No kids. He is a biusiness client of mine
I have known for 3 years. Just recently, last Oct he came into
my office and thats when I met him, love at first sight, if that
is possible, he also feels the same.
We have had no exchanges of I love you's. We are still in the
new passion mode, that is all I really think it is, but i don't
know. All I know is that I am consumed by him, and if he did ask
me to leave after 18years, I would in a heartbeat.
As far as you calling him, I know this is hard but do as he requests.
Myself and my MM do not call, only on occasion does he call me at
work, and me him. we e-mail each other often, then call when we
know each can talk.
If he said he is getting along with his wife, well that is a rough
thing to hear.....I would not want to know. How do you do it?
It does sound like you still care and love your H, I do mine in a way, knowing
and being around someone for 18years, you do care.
Try and NOT be available, that is what do. Even if it is a
little white lie, that lets them know you just not a
" BECK AND CALL GIRL" (From Pretty Women)
Next time he wants to see you tell him your going out with some
girl friends, or away for the weekend. This has really sparked
up the Attention of my MM. He always asks me when get back
from a weekend with the girls, if I was good...so I know he is
interested.
Good luck and let me know what happens
Bunny