I need to let him go . . .
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I need to let him go . . .
| Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:17pm |
Yikes. Edited 9/7/2004 2:44 pm ET ET by whatnow04
Edited 10/19/2004 1:43 pm ET ET by whatnow04
Edited 10/19/2004 1:43 pm ET ET by whatnow04

go with your gut.
hugs, db
On the other hand, I could feel the pull that you are feeling with your MM. The pattern of the on and off again (that you said) has to be wearing on your emotions. The roller coaster of the A on us all is a mental war when we're not stable in what is or isn't going on.
You need to decide what you're doing with your DH. If you are going to work on your marriage and give it 100%, like your counselor said, then I would say stay away from your MM and let go. Sounds like you love and have a good marriage with your DH, so I wouldn't wreck the one stable thing you have going for you. If there was something lacking in it... no emotional support, abuse, drinking, drugs, no sex, then that is a different story.
It's your call and a hard one to make right now. Good luck to you and yours!
jen
this is a toughy for me to answer. I went through this with mm only with HIM ending it because of guilt et al. Only for us to keep flirting and me confronting the problem...which turned out to be our catalyst for getting back together.
I have to say that if you are wanting to make your marriage work and having mm on the side is too distracting then at the very LEAST suggest...no decide on a "break up " period. Tell mm that you want both of you to have time to concentrate on your spouses and your relationship with them. Him only being married two years tells me he needs to re evaluate as well. Make it a time period you set for now. Like the summer or until Christmas... whatever you think would be appropriate. Then if one or the other is feeling like that isn't making anything difference, (In my case I was more relaxed in my M while with MM in my life) then they can contact the other person to let them know. I wouldn't chuck it but I would make a change. Catch is that during that time you HAVE to work on your M, approach it like you did break up permenatly.
dd
Edited 10/19/2004 1:46 pm ET ET by whatnow04