I need opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2009
I need opinions
9
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 11:04pm

HI, I'm new, to this board and a possible A.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 12:01am

Okay, Michelle, brace yourself. You are about to get flooded with responses by posters who say don't have an A, fix your M, what's wrong with you..followed then by other posters who rail against the original posters because this should be a "support board"! LOL. I've seen it many times.


I'll just say one thing--the reason some of us say not to have an A is because for us, it has been the most painful, devastating thing that we have gone through. It's something that stays with you forever, whether you are caught or not. SOMEONE ends up being hurt--most of us women can't have an A just for sex. Anyway, please think about it carefully. It is not as easy or carefree as you may think.


But I digress. It's possible this man gets off on being flirtatious and has no intention of taking it further. It is also possible he is feeling you out to see if you are responsive. It's possible it is not his first A. I can't tell.


However, if you are interested in someone enough to have sex with that person, you should be able to ask a simple question. Like, "do you want to go out for coffee?" No commitment there. You can pass it off as wanting to be friends. You will be able to tell in time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2009
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 2:27am

Okay, Michelle, brace yourself. You are about to get flooded with responses by posters who say don't have an A, fix your M, what's wrong with you..followed then by other posters who rail against the original posters because this should be a "support board"! LOL. I've seen it many times.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2009
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 6:39am

Thank you for your support and I wholeheartedly agree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2009
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 12:28pm

Michelle...I'm not exactly in the same situation as I'm S vs. M and with a MM.

maystone
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 12:44pm

So I actually agree with altered in one respect: yes, everyone needs to feel happy (I'm not sure about the word "deserve") and if part of your life is unsatisfying then yes, fix it. What I am not sure of is that a spouse deserves to be cheated on to fulfill the other person's life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 1:22pm

Hi snowstorm :)


I've often wondered about this very type of conversation.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2009
Sat, 05-09-2009 - 3:38pm

Hi, Thank you for your response, and I appreciate everything you told me, both about your situation and mine,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2009
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 12:29am
Yes you deserve to be happy. An affair might make you happy, but for how long? what will it cost you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Sun, 05-10-2009 - 1:03am
He is an attorney--he won't make his move until the case is over, he
could be in hot water becoming involved with you. Esp if discovered and or a Divorce ensues.