I need opinions please

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2009
I need opinions please
10
Wed, 08-19-2009 - 11:50am

Sorry...this is long.


This is sooooo weak

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Wed, 08-19-2009 - 1:01pm
The guy is a jerk.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2009
Wed, 08-19-2009 - 1:19pm

Thank you for your honest opinion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Wed, 08-19-2009 - 1:59pm

You are making excuses for him hon, and it's good that you realize this.


I hope you get enough responses to help you snap out of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Wed, 08-19-2009 - 2:50pm

He sounds like a sociopath. Most sociopaths are NOT murderers like we all think they are. Most of them will just use people, with no guilt, to get the things they feel entitled to. They don't have the human feelings most of us do that would cause them to get attached, hence no one is safe from being used by them. They will con money, sex, a place to live - you name it. There are more sociopaths in the world than we realize. Their mantra is usually "poor me" "don't you feel sorry for me?" etc. They're actually usually quite charming, good at making people laugh and quite popular! A lot of them don't even realize that they are "missing" something inside - they think the shallow sorts of emotions that they feel are the same as everyone else's, and that we all just pretend to feel more, like they do. They're GREAT pretenders. They think we're all chumps for paying our taxes and not taking money from friends - they think they're "smarter" than everyone else - "superior", because they get what they want from everyone.

There's some argument about whether what I've described is more narcissistic than sociopathic but the two are very similar. A narcissist seems to think the world revolves around them and only their own problems matter, but they do have feelings for people. It's almost like they're stuck at a small child's level of emotional maturity. However, I don't think a narcissist would con money from online friends or deliberately get a fake ID to steal money or borrow large sums from close friends and not pay it back! Since both are personality disorders and not exactly mental illness, there is no cure, no pill, no chemical that can change it.

I look for sociopaths in my circle and if I think I recognize one (and that can be very hard to do) I RUN and stay away, even if they're members of my immediate family. You even have to do that carefully. They do not like to be ignored or disposed of. The best thing to do is try to make them think they don't want to be around you anymore.

Sorry for the novel, but the whole subject is extremely interesting to me and these people seem easier for me to spot once I tried to do so. He's very bad news and you should extricate yourself from him.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2009
Wed, 08-19-2009 - 6:33pm

Thanks Lexi.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Wed, 08-19-2009 - 7:35pm

OMG! Feel free to e-mail me off board because your AP sounds similiar to mine, except, well, mine hasn't treated me so badly, just lied to me about everything and finally confessed the truth this month because i found it out.


Lexi is right about him being a sociopath.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2009
Wed, 08-19-2009 - 9:46pm

Hi Lost.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Thu, 08-20-2009 - 12:27am

Oh Lost...


This man is playing with your heart and head.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2009
Thu, 08-20-2009 - 1:58pm

I talked to my therapist this morning and told her I have like this obsession to find out all the dirt I can on AP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Thu, 08-20-2009 - 9:31pm

Your therapist is right, Lost.